You are my life
by cabson
Summary: Alex and Olivia agree to have dinner together and discus the latest and new case. And to catch up. It's more then two hours later and Olivia hasn't show up. Alex is worried. Olivia would never not let Alex know she is this late. "Liv, what happened?" Alex asks softly while she kneels next to Olivia. Rated M. Angst/Hurt/Crime/Friendship/Romance.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of SVU. I don't make money out of this on any level. Just borrow the characters to write my stories. So don't sue me. **

**The first chapters of this story were already written before SVU's season started. So this story is not based or related to the season's start and Lewis attacking Olivia. This story is like it was in season 13, with both Alex and Casey as SVU's ADA's.**

Chapter 1

Alex is doing paperwork in her office. She is working late again like the whole week. It's just one of those weeks that she is never home before 9 pm. She looks at her watch and sees that it is 7 pm.

'Not getting home early again' she thinks.

Alex's cellphone is ringing. She answers it without looking who it is.

"Cabot." Alex says.

"Hey Alex, it's Olivia. Are you still at work in your office?"

"Hi Liv, yes I am. I bet you are still at the precinct, working too."

"What else would I do here Counselor?" Olivia chuckled.

"I don't know Detective. Is there something I can do for you Liv?" Alex asks.

"Did you eat anything after lunch? Or didn't you have had lunch today?" Olivia asks.

" I have had lunch today. Can you say the same thing? " Alex laughed.

"Busted." Olivia muttered.

"Olivia, when was the last time that you had something to eat?" Alex asks seriously.

"Eat or a meal, Alex?" Olivia asks.

"You know I mean a meal Olivia, don't play dumb with me Detective!" Alex says sternly.

"Hold your horses Cabot. You know just as well as I do there is a difference between eating something and a meal." Olivia answers a little bit irritated.

"Sorry Liv. But don't avoid the question. When was the last time?" Alex asks.

"Uhm... around 8... I think..." Olivia answers.

"You mean 8 am, like breakfast. And you asking me if I had eaten anything after lunch or if I have had lunch?" Alex asks, raising one eyebrow.

"Uhm... No Alex... Not 8 am this morning . It was around 8 pm last night actually." Olivia mumbles.

"Olivia Benson! Did you just said 8 pm last night? Did I hear that correctly?" Alex asks.

"Yes Alexandra Cabot, 8 pm last night. You gave me a warrant around 8 pm for Neil Prentiss and that delicious sandwich. Thank you for that again. But we had to go and find him since he wasn't at home and his wife didn't know where he was. Otherwise I would have called you for the interrogation." Olivia answers.

"Liv, why didn't you eat after that? Like I don't know breakfast perhaps or lunch or dinner today?" Alex asks concerned.

"At 10 pm last night we've got a call that there was a new victim. Same MO as the others but worse. I spoke to his wife but he hasn't been home since yesterday morning when he left the house after breakfast. So our suspect is gone since breakfast yesterday morning and last night we've got an other victim. I didn't have time to eat until now. That is why I am calling you. Do you want to eat something together? I can fill you in with the case while we eat." Olivia asks.

"Yes I would love that. Nice way to catch up too. And you can fill me in about the case. Let's say an hour? Can you make that? " Alex asks.

She really is looking forward to spent some time with Olivia and this looks like an good opportunity.

"Yes an hour would be great. And I love to catch up with you. See you in an hour than Counselor." Olivia answers.

"Ok. See you soon. Bye Olivia." Alex says.

"Bye Alex." Olivia says and ends the call.

It was two and an half hours later and Olivia still wasn't at Alex's office and the blond attorney called Olivia's cellphone for the second time that hour but she didn't answer. Then she dialed the number of her desk phone but Olivia didn't answer that either.

Alex was a bit worried now because if the brunette couldn't make it she would have called her. And it was two and an half hour later then that they had agreed to meet.

Alex decided that she was going to the precinct to see what was holding Olivia up.

She puts her coat on grasps her purse, briefcase and keys and leaves her office locking it behind her. Outside she holds a cab and gives the driver the address of the precinct.

She calls Olivia's cellphone again but Olivia still doesn't answer it.

10 minutes later she is there, pays the driver and walks into the precinct and takes the elevator up to the squad room.

When she enters the squad room nobody is there, the light on Olivia's desk is on and her cellphone is on her desk. Her leather jacket on the chair. But no Olivia. Alex lays her purse and briefcase down on Olivia's chair and headed to the interrogation rooms but Olivia isn't there. She walks to the restroom.

"Liv, are you in here? " Alex asks.

When she walks into the restroom she sees Olivia lying on the ground. She is bleeding and beaten up. Her clothes are torn apart. And her left arm is cuffed at the heating. Alex runs to Olivia.

"Liv, what happened?" Alex asks softly while she kneels next to Olivia.

Olivia is shivering.

"Alex did you see anybody in the squad room?" Olivia asks.

"No. Liv, but what happened?" Alex asks gentle.

"Alex, go to my desk now! In the left upper drawer is my gun. Get it and come back here as soon as you can. I explain it later." Olivia answers.

Alex gets up and runs to Olivia's desk opens the drawer and takes the gun out it and shut it. Then she runs back to Olivia and hands her the gun.

"Olivia, can you tell me what the hell is going on?" Alex asks softly.

"Alex call 911 and ask for back up, go in to the stall and stay there until the back up is here or I tell you to come out. Neil Prentiss is in the building he went down to get something to eat but will be back soon." Olivia answers softly and with a cracked voice.

"Liv no, please? Where are the keys for the handcuffs? I get those off first." Alex pleads.

"Lex, please. I need you to go into the stall and stay there. I can't protect you like I normally can but now I have my gun and he doesn't know that. Now please go in there. I don't want you get hurt. Don't come out no matter what happens. Do it for me. Please?" Olivia almost begs, softly.

"Ok, for you I do it." Alex answers.

Alex calls 911 asks for back up and ambulance and goes into the stall. She was there 2 minutes when Neil Prentiss came back. He walks over to Olivia.

"Diner was good but now it's time for my desert." Prentiss says.

He is kicking Olivia and the sounds of cracking fills the restroom and Olivia dropped her gun at the floor.

Alex has to bite in her hand for not making a sound when she hears the cracking. But Olivia doesn't make a sound. She is trying to buy time. Time for the back up that is on the way but most of all she wants to keep Prentiss busy so that he doesn't find out that Alex is in the stall. She is hoping that the blonde ADA will keep her promise and stays in the stall. Alex is struggling to stay there because she promised Olivia. And she knows that Olivia takes the assault for her.

After a few minutes Olivia thinks she can't take it anymore. At the same time Prentiss has enough of it and steps back. Olivia touches the floor to find her gun. Finding it she picks it up and pointing it at Prentiss.

"Don't even think about it. Stay there or I will shoot you." Olivia says, with a threat in her voice.

Prentiss is backing away for moment when he sees the gun pointed at him. And at that moment Amanda Rollins walks in the restroom with her gun raised and pointing at him.

"Put your hand behind your head and get down on your knees." Amanda shouts at him.

She was on her way back to the precinct when she heard the call for back up on the police radio.

Prentiss knows that he is out gunned and puts his hands behind his head and drops on his knees. Amanda cuffs him and drags him out the restroom.

"I'll be right back." Amanda says to Olivia before walking away with Prentiss.

Olivia knows it's finally over.

**A/N I hope y'all liked the first chapter of this story. I know I'm way behind with Runaway. And I promise there will be a new chapter for it. I'm working on it. But writing Runaway is kinda hard for me right now. So decided to start posting this story at the same time. For those who read ' I don't wanna lose you now' there will be a sequel in the future. Just not right now. But I promise it will come. That story is my baby and far from finished. **

**As always read and review. They are truly wanted and appreciated :D.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thank you all for following with so many after 1 chapter. And also for giving reviews. It really makes happier at this moment. Keep doing it, please. **

**Now let's go back to the story and to the next chapter.**

**Please R+R, as always they are really appreciated.**

Chapter 2

"Alex, come here and get the damn handcuffs off." Olivia says.

Alex quickly comes out the stall and walks to Olivia.

"The keys are in the right pocket of my slacks." Olivia whispers softly.

Alex gasps at the look of Olivia. More beaten up then she already was. She reaches slowly and carefully in the right pocket of Olivia's slack and pulls out the keys she noticed Olivia flinched, she tried to hide it but Alex still noticed it. Alex doesn't say something about it. She quickly takes off the handcuffs. Takes off her coat and puts it around Olivia so that the brunette's body is out of sight. Amanda walks back in to restroom when the paramedics arrives.

The paramedics walking in with a stretcher and gently lay Olivia on it.

"Alex, will you go with me to the hospital?" Olivia asks.

"What ever you want, I will do it. If you want me too, I'll go with you to the hospital." Alex answers.

"I want you to go with me. Thank you." Olivia says.

Olivia turns her head to the paramedics and asks if she can be alone with the blonde ADA for a minute.

They nodded and answers she can get a minute but then they have to leave.

"You too Amanda, will you wait outside for a moment please?" Olivia asks.

"Sure. I wait outside." Amanda answers.

Amanda walks out the restroom to. Olivia turns back to face Alex and swallows.

"Alex, what I'm gonna say now is hard for me to say and for you to hear." Olivia says softly.

Alex's eyes fill up with tears knowing by the tone of Olivia's voice and the words she say what is coming.

Alex takes Olivia's right hand into hers and squeezed gentle.

"Alex... in the hospital they... they need … to do a rape kit." Olivia whispers softly.

"I want you with me if you can do that. When they are done you give it to Amanda and she needs to bring it personally to Melinda. Tell her she can't say anything about this to guys. They will not find it out if I can help it. Can you do that for me please? I really don't want anyone else nearby but you." Olivia asks.

"Oh Liv." Alex whispers in tears.

" I will be with you every stap of the way. When ever you need me I'll be there." Alex answers softly.

"Thank you. Will you call Amanda in here please?" Olivia asks.

Alex nodded and walks to the door to ask Amanda to come in for a moment. Amanda enters the restroom and walks to Olivia.

"Amanda I need you to come to the hospital. Alex will talk with you there. Is that ok?" Olivia asks.

Amanda looks at Alex who nodded and then looks at Olivia to say to Olivia that it's fine. Then the paramedics are walking back into the restroom to take Olivia to the hospital. Alex walks to the squad room to get her purse.

"We wait for Alex! Olivia need her to go with her. " Amanda says to the paramedics.

Olivia takes the opportunity to ask Amanda a for favor.

"Amanda may I ask you to do me a favor? " Olivia asks.

"Yes Liv of course what ever you want. What do you need me to do?" Amanda asks.

"Call Casey. Tell her what happened and tell that she needs to come to the hospital for Alex. She'll understand why. If you get a chance to talk to her alone, after you talked to Alex, do it and tell her then everything you know. Tell her that I told you to tell "I know". Casey will know what I mean. It's something between Casey and I. I know I'm cryptic right now but I will talk to you about this later. Will you do this for me? Don´t say it to Alex. Just do it. Ok? " Olivia asks.

"Ok Liv. I will do it. And I don't say it to Alex or ask Casey any questions about this. I know they know you for a long time so I know that there are things you have been through together. So it's ok. You don't have to tell me." Amanda answers.

"Thanks Amanda, it means a lot to me." Olivia says softly.

Alex is back with her purse and briefcase. And they are taking Olivia to hospital now.

Olivia knows that everything is taking care of and now the adrenaline is falling away she feels the pain in her body that is to much. The tears are falling over her cheeks. She is crying out of pain when they are going over the doorstep. Olivia's body is shutting down and she is losing her consciousness.

Alex let the paramedic do her work as much as she can but she will not let go Olivia's hand. Hoping that Olivia will know she is there.

"When we are in the hospital they need to do a rape kit on Liv. Detective Rollins will come to the hospital to pick it up. Tell the doctors to be discreet. She don't want the squad to now that she is raped." Alex says to the paramedic.

"Poor girl, beating the crap out of her wasn't enough. I have seen a lot in my line of work but the way she is beaten up I have never seen in my life." The paramedic says defeated.

"She is a detective with the SVU and I'm their prosecutor and even I have not seen it this bad. And she is my best friend." Alex says, a tear falling down her cheek.

"What the hell happened to her?" the paramedic asks Alex.

"I don't know. She was supposed to come to my office. We should talking about the case. But she didn't show up and didn't answered her cellphone or her desk phone. So I went to the precinct.

When I came there the squad room was empty and I didn't see her so I went to the restroom.

When I came in I found her beaten up, her clothes torn apart and her left hand was handcuffed to the heating. She asked me to get her gun out of the drawer of her desk. When I came back she said that the suspect of our case was in the building and he was getting something to eat. She asked me to call 911 for back up and then go in the stall because he would come back and she didn't want me to get hurt. So I called for back up and a ambulance and walked into the stall. When the sick son of bitch came back he said to Liv that diner was good but that it was now time for desert. I heard him kicking her hard. Heard the cracking of bones being broken. But she didn't scream or made any sound because she protected me the only way she could.

When he stopped and took a stap back she told him "don't even think about it or I will shoot.". At that moment detective Rollins came in and took him into custody. She asked me then to come out and get the handcuffs of her. After that you guys came in." Alex finishes.

"That guy is really a sick son of bitch. Do me a favor and make sure that he is going to jail for a long time." The paramedic asks Alex.

"Oh I will. I prosecute the bastard myself! " Alex said angry.

By the time they got to the hospital there was an trauma team ready to take Olivia in. Alex made sure that they did an rape kit, she knew when Olivia would have been conscious she would have demanded it herself.

They promised her to take the swabs but the rest had to wait because she was still unconscious. Alex knew that she had enough with the swabs for DNA and semen. They quickly took Olivia in the trauma room and from that point Alex had to leave Olivia alone. A nurse took Alex to the waiting room. And the nurse promised that as soon as she know more she would come to update her.

And with that Alex was left alone. After a view minutes Amanda arrived.

"How is she? Do they know anything yet?" Amanda asked.

"She is in pretty bad shape, she lost conscious just before we went in the ambulance to the hospital and she didn't wake up so far. They took her into the trauma room it's gonna take a while before we know more I think. She has a lot of injuries. From what I can tell you right know: she has broken ribs, how many I don't know, cheekbones broken I think, her left wrist is broken, the rest I don't know but there are more bones broken that's for sure." Alex says, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Dammit that sick son of a bitch! About what do we need talk. What was Liv talking about? " Amanda asks Alex.

Alex took a deep breath.

"You have to promise for Liv and for me that you do what I ask you to do. If you don't she WILL have your ass and if she doesn't I DO." Alex says sternly with her courtroom voice.

Amanda looked worried.

"Ok ok, I promise. Wanna life longer, about a year or 40." Amanda answers.

"Liv is... raped by that asshole. She asked me to be with her when they would take a rap kit but now that she is unconscious they only take the swabs right now the rest have to wait until she is stable and the know what her injuries are. Liv, and I too, want you to take the rape kit and bring it personally to Melinda Warner. And she doesn't want the guys to know it. " Alex says.

Amanda let out a curse.

" I bring it to Melinda as soon as I get it. I'll ask her to text the results to you and me, only to us. I tell her to not say anything to the others because Olivia doesn't want to. I will say nothing too. I understand why she doesn't want them to know. God I hate that bastard if I had known this when I arrested him I would have kicked his ass." Amanda says angrily.

Alex sighs before speaking again.

"Amanda, Liv is beaten up twice. We agreed to have dinner together and she should fill me in about the case. We had an appointment at 8 pm she called me at 7 pm. But by 10.30 pm she still wasn't at my office. I called her cellphone and her desk phone but she didn't answered them both. I left my office immediately and took a cab to the precinct, I was there at 10.45 pm. When I walked in the squad room she wasn't there but the lamp at her desk was on and her cell phone was on her desk. So I went to look for her. I went to the interrogation rooms first and then to the restroom.

When I came in I found Liv on the ground, beaten up, clothes torn apart and her left hand cuffed at the heating it wasn't broken then. I asked her what happened. She asked if I had seen anyone in the squad room. I told her that nobody was there. And then she told me to get her gun and come back as soon as possible. So I ran to her desk took her gun and ran back.

Then she told me that Prentiss was downstairs to get something to eat, she said that I had to call 911, ask for back up and go into the stall. Because she didn't wanted me to get hurt. She almost begged me. So I did what she asked. I called 911, asked for back up and a ambulance and went to the stall. I was there 2 minutes when he came back. He said to Liv " Dinner was good but now it's time for my desert." He walked to her and kicked her really hard. I could hear the cracking of bones being broken. So I bit in my hand to don't make any noise. Liv didn't scream or made any sound. She was protecting me. She knew that when she did I couldn't hold it together so she suffered in silence. Then I hear something slamming into the heating and handcuffs against it. That is when he broke her wrist and maybe her arm too. When he was done kicking he took a stap back. She said " Don't even think about it, or I will shoot you."

And at that moment you walked in.

When you took him away she told me that they needed to do a rape kit in the hospital and asked me if I would be with her there. So when she said to him "don't even think about it, or I will shoot you." she knew he would rape her again. But I didn't knew that at the moment itself. Only when she told me that she was raped. So you came right in time. Other wise she would have shot him or he would have raped her again." Alex now barely speaks above a whisper.

"So long story short. He has beaten the crap out of her twice, broke every bone he could and raped her. I wouldn't feel sorry for the bastard if she had shot him. But somehow I'm glad because now he can rotten in jail, be someones bitch the rest of his life I hope." Amanda says with anger in her voice.

"I make sure of it myself! I know Liv wants me to. So I will. That is at least something I can do and be good at it. When I'm done with him he wished he had never met me and didn't do anything to the other women or Liv." Alex says.

The door of the trauma room opened and a nurse came in with the rap kid.

"We only could do the swaps. I'm sorry." The nurse says to Alex.

"How is she? Can you say anything about her injuries yet?" Alex asks.

"No sorry it is to early to tell you what all her injuries are. But I can tell you that there aren't that many bones that are not broken. They take her to make a scan of her head as we talk. So what damage she might have on or in her head will we know soon. Now I have to go back. If it is possible I'll do her nails or any other part of the kit to. But I don't think I will get much. I will make sure that her clothes will be packed and I do what I can with the rest for the rape kit. I understand that we have to be discrete because Ms Benson doesn't want anyone to know it. So..." The nurse says.

"It is DETECTIVE Benson." Alex interrupted her.

"My apologies. Since Detective Benson doesn't want anyone to know, if I can collect more evidence I give it to you Ms Cabot. I'm sure you take care of it. Would that be ok by you? " The nurse asks.

"Yes thank you nurse. That will be fine." Alex answered.

"I must go back now, but as soon as we now more I let you know. And if you need a separate room because of all the men and women in blue that will show op just ask Jennifer over there." The nurse says pointing at the direction of a blond nurse across the room.

"Thank you again." Alex said.

"See you later Ms Cabot, Detective." The nurse greeted.

"I go to Melinda now, before the guys or anyone else will arrive here and I can't get out that easy anymore. If you know something let me know or if you need something . Ok?" Amanda asks.

"Ok. And thanks Amanda." Alex answers.

"No need to Alex, but I understand why you say it. See you later." Amanda says and walked out the waiting room on her way to Melinda Warner.

Alex was now really alone. With nobody there Alex feel the walls coming in to her. Olivia is beaten up so badly and she worried over the scan they are taking of the brunettes head. Olivia still wasn't awake and she is worried that something will be wrong. Her body had shut down. To protect her. So her injuries were really bad. She wouldn't believe it if she hadn't see it herself.

She still hears the cracking bones from Olivia's body inside her head. Why did the stubborn Detective always have to protect everybody even when her own live is in danger? Alex tries to hold it together but it isn't easy. Olivia is her best friend and she fell for the beautiful Detective the first time she walked into the squad room. But even after all those years that they know each other she never told her how she really feel about the brunette. Afraid that their friendship will be broken and she is certain that Olivia is straight. So why screwing up what she has by telling her.

But it makes it so much more difficult for Alex to see Olivia being beaten up and hearing it the second time.

She loved her more than she would admit to anyone included herself.

Pacing in the waiting room for some news about Olivia and waiting for the guys to come she thinks how she was gonna tell the guys what happened. Leaving the rape out of it and hoping that they wouldn't ask for it. She hated to lie. And she new the guys wouldn't like it if they find out that she lied to them if they do ask her, but Olivia wouldn't want them to know it and that was more important for Alex then the guys being angry with her.

Lost in her own thoughts Alex didn't notice that the guys and Cragen walked into the waiting room.

And she literally jumped when Munch asked her what the hell happened and how Olivia is doing.

Munch walked to Alex and took her in an embrace.

" It's just us Alex." Munch says softly to the young ADA.

Standing there in the arms of Munch Alex started to shake. She new Munch just as long as she new Olivia and to be hold by the older man she it was difficult to keep it together. The nightmare that had happened rolling like a movie trough her head.

Letting go of Munch Alex took a moment to put herself together before she starts telling them what happened.

Meanwhile on her way to Melinda Amanda pulls out her cellphone and dial Casey's number and wait for her to answer the phone.

"Novak." Casey answers.

"Casey, it's Amanda." Amanda says.

"Hi Amanda, what can I do for you? Do you need a warrant? " Casey asks.

"No Casey I don't need a warrant. Are you sitting down? " Amanda asks

"Yes. Why?" Casey asks.

"Because if you didn't I would ask you to. I need something to tell you and it isn't good..." Amanda started.

Casey interrupted Amanda before she could tell her why.

"Why, what happened? " Casey asks.

"Casey, it's Olivia, she is assaulted. Let me finish before you say anything ok? " Amanda asks.

"Why what´s wrong with Liv?" Casey asks.

"Please promise me? I tell you everything." Amanda asks almost pleadingly.

"Ok I promise now tell me what's wrong! " Casey demands.

Amanda tells everything. Shivering when she thinks about how Olivia looked when the paramedics putted her on the stretcher.

"Casey, before Liv went in the ambulance she asked me to call you. Tell you everything and that after I talked to Alex and I found a moment to talk to you alone tell you everything I know. I talked with Alex so now I tell you everything I know. After I promised Alex that I do what she asked me to do she told me that Liv is raped too and I need to take the rape kit to Melinda myself. They only took the swabs and the nurse will do the rest of the rape kit when she is stable and they know what her injuries are.

Liv asked me to ask you the next: She wants you to go to the hospital for Alex. You understand why.

She asked me to tell you " I know" . You know what she means . If the nurse can collect more evidence for the rape kit she will give it to Alex. Alex will take care of it although I think she give it to me and I'll take it to Melinda again. Liv doesn't want the guys to know that she is raped.

When I left the hospital they were taking a scan of Liv's head. And right after I left I called you.. If I knew what that sick son of bitch had done to Liv when I arrested him, I would have kicked his ass. So you now you know everything I know for so far." Amanda finished.

Casey was angry as hell and worried to for Olivia.

"Dammit! That sick son of bitch! Oh I'm gonna nail his ass. When I'm done with him he gets a one way ticket to hell!" Casey growls.

"Alex said that she will prosecute him. She said that Liv wants her to do it, that it is something she can do for Liv she is good at. I know that you and Liv now each other for a long time too just as Alex does. But I think you just talk to Alex about which one of you is gonna prosecute the bastard. No offense Casey. Are you going to the hospital for Alex? " Amanda asks.

"Yes I go. Of course I go, even when Liv didn't ask me to. I go I wanna now how Liv is doing and be there for Alex to. If Alex say that she will prosecute the asshole because she thinks that Liv wants her to do it, she gonna bring the bastard down. I know Liv for a long time. But nobody knows Liv better then Alex. Alex and Liv now each other for 12 years by now. And I'm not offended Amanda. I know you mean it well. So don't worry about that." Casey answers.

"Thanks Casey. I arrived at Melinda's office so I'm gonna bring the rape kit. I see you at the hospital later I hope." Amanda says.

"I'm going to hospital right now and take care of Alex as good as I can. I hope to see you there too. I assume Liv told you not to tell Alex that she asked me to go and be there for Alex, so I don't tell her that." Casey says.

"You're right Liv did say that. See you later Casey. Bye." Amanda answers.

"See you later Amanda. Bye." Casey says ending the call.

Amanda puts her cellphone back on the clip on her belt, takes the rape kit and gets out of her car. She walked in the Melinda's office and she found Melinda doing a autopsy on their latest victim. She shook her head and thought this is not the latest victim, Olivia is and she is in the hospital.

"Hi Melinda." Amanda say. Letting the ME know that she is here.

"Hi Amanda. I know you guys think I can perform magic, But I'm not that fast." Melinda jokes.

She turns around when she noticed that Amanda didn't respond to her joke and sees the look on Amanda's.

"What's wrong Amanda? " Melinda asks.

"I think you better can sit down, Melinda." Amanda answered.

Melinda frowned at the words of Amanda but she takes a seat.

"Liv has been attacked twice tonight Melinda. She's at the hospital now." Amanda says.

"What happened? " Melinda asks Amanda, now seriously scared.

"Do you want the long or the short version Melinda?" Amanda asks.

"Long version. Now tell me what the hell happened to Olivia." Melinda says.

Amanda tells Melinda everything that happened.

By the time Amanda was finished Melinda had a look in her eyes that showed she was way beyond angry.

"Give me the swabs Amanda I will run them true the system right now and make sure this is treated with the highest priority! I want to nail this sick son of bitch. I promise I will only send the results to Alex and to you. But please keep me posted how Liv is doing Amanda. I know Olivia as long as she is with the SVU. Alex must be out of her mind with fear by now. Poor girl. Will you tell her that if she needs anything, anything at all she just needs to let me know? " Melinda ask Amanda.

"I will. Thank you Melinda for keeping this part quiet and for your support for Liv and Alex. I have to go back to the hospital now. But I keep you posted. As soon as we know more I will let you know it myself, I promise." Amanda answers.

Back in the waiting room in the hospital Alex take a quick look around at Munch, Fin, Amaro and Cragen.

She closes her eyes for a second and tells them what happened to Olivia.

By the time Alex was finished the tears running down her cheeks .

All the guys are silent for a moment to process what Alex just told them. Judging the condition Alex is in, they know it's really bad. Alex almost never showed an emotion. So when she is in tears like this they are afraid of how terrible her injuries will be and how Olivia will look.

Slowly the waiting room is filling with cops. The whole force knows who Olivia is and comes to see how she is doing and to support her squad. Alex walks to Jennifer.

"Is there a room were we can wait? I'm expecting a coming and going of cops now. The whole force knows Liv. So perhaps it's better to have a private area." Alex asks.

"Yes of course. We have room where we usually have meetings, but right now we can use it for you, the squad and all the cops that are coming in. Shall I lead you to it?" Jeniffer asks.

"Yes please." Alex answers.

Jennifer walks with Alex to a room at the and of the corridor and opens the door.

"This will do it I think. It's big enough and here it's possible to get something to drink or eat. Because I don't think you guys will leave until Detective Benson is out of the woods or awake, am I right?" Jennifer asks.

"Yes you are. Don't tell the guys but I won't leave this hospital without her!" Alex says softly but sternly.

"Well I guess you two are close because you are her MPA. And by the way you trying to hold yourself together, you care about her much more then the guys know. Or am I wrong about that?" Jennifer asks.

"No you're not. I care about her very much. She is my best friend and I don't know what to do without her. The bastard beat her up twice today. But the second one she took it for me. Even when she already was beaten up she still wanted to protect me." Alex says, smiling sadly.

"Seems to me she cares a lot about you too even she or you don't know it. I think she will take a bullet for you if it save your life." Jennifer answers.

"I don't know about that. I go to get the others now." Alex says not knowing what to do with what Jennifer says to her.

"Yes of course. If there is anything I can do for you or the others please let me now, Ms Cabot." Jennifer says.

"I will, and please call me Alex. I have a feeling we will see each other a lot more the next couple of hours at least." Alex answers.

"Alright Alex it is then. Now I go and let you get the guys and every other boy or girl in blue." Jennifer answers.

Alex walks back in to the waiting room just as Casey walks inside.

"How is Liv doing? Do you now anything yet?" Casey asks Alex.

"They haven't tell us anything yet. She is having a scan of her head right now. But how do you know Liv is here? Don't get me wrong I'm glad you are here." Alex answers.

"Amanda called me and told me Liv is beaten up badly and that she is unconscious. I came straight to the hospital as soon as she called me." Casey says.

"Oh ok. Thank you for coming Casey." Alex says softly.

Alex turns to the guys and everybody in the waiting room.

"Can I have everybody's attention please?" Alex asks.

Everybody turns to Alex. Alex is getting nervous with so many people watching her. Casey looks at Alex and sees how hard it is for the young ADA. And puts a hand on the small of her back for support.

Alex looks at Casey and give her a small smile and turns back to the others.

"At this moment Olivia is getting a scan of her head. Right now she is still unconscious. For her injuries there is no news. She has a lot of broken bones, how many and witch I don't know right now. But I now for sure that she is fighting for her life. We that means the squad, Captain Cragen, Casey and I are glad that you all come here to see how Olivia is doing. As soon as I get more information I will let you know. Now because we are with a lot of people they have given us a room were we can wait. Down the corridor at the right is a conference room, there we can all wait. That's all for now, thank you for listening." Alex finishes.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Since I had a few chapters already written, I post them with only a few days in between. After chapter 4 is posted it's gonna take a while. I'm writing chapter 5 now. **

**I have been reading the reviews I'm getting and have decided to take a beta reader for my spelling and grammar. If you know a good beta reader or if you want to be it for me, please let me know in a PM. I have asked someone but I would appreciate it if I get a few good suggestions. **

**I'm looking for someone who can help me/correct (with) my spelling and grammar only. I'm cocky enough to think that without the faults my stories are pretty much ok, at least. Suggestions are always welcome, but I'm not looking for someone who turns my story upside down and makes big changes. Again if you know someone or want to do it yourself, tell me it via PM.**

**Back to the story. Things are going slow right now. And they will stay that way for at least two or three chapters. **

**Your reviews are really appreciated and I'm looking forward to them, so please continue writing them. What can I say, I'm a review junkie. **

**Please R+R. Enjoy reading the next chapter.**

Chapter 3

The guys are walking to the direction Alex explained. And Alex starts walking to the room too when Casey stops the blonde ADA.

"Alex, I know that Liv is beaten up twice and that she is raped. When I was the ADA of SVU for the first time I've been beating up inside my office. Liv was there for me when I needed her. I know you found her and was with her the second time the asshole beat her up. I'm here for you, just so you know, you're not alone in this. Liv is strong she will make it." Casey says.

"Thank you Casey. I didn't know that you were assaulted, I'm sorry. When did this happened?" Alex asks.

"When you were in Witsec. The brother of a victim wanted revenge for his sister and beat the crap out of me and Liv saved me. She took care of me and was in the hospital a lot to stay with me." Casey answers.

Casey saw the look of hurt and a little bit of fear in Alex's eyes when she told her that Olivia stayed with her in the hospital.

"That sounds like Liv. I didn't know you two are close." Alex says, not able to keep the pain out of her voice.

"Alex you have nothing to worry about. When I first came to SVU, Liv, mostly, was not exactly friendly to me. Liv made it very clear she wasn't happy with me assigned to the squad. It was like I did something wrong but I didn't know what I did wrong. It wasn't till after I asked Elliot I knew why she was so hostile to me. Elliot had accepted me but Liv didn't. Elliot told me that she was acting like she did because I wasn't you. I told him I didn't understand and he explained to me that the two of you were very close, that you were best friends and that Liv doesn't have a lot of friends and keeps everybody out of her personal life. That you were the only one who knows the real Liv, not Detective 'Badass' Olivia Benson. Not even he knew much about her personal life and he was her partner." Casey says.

"Yes, well we all know what an asshole he was by leaving Liv without saying anything. When I left for Witsec at least I said it. He hurt her bad Casey. I think it hurt her even more than when I left the first and the second time for Witsec or when I left for the Congo." Alex says with anger in her voice.

Anger for Elliot not Casey.

"I don't know about that Alex. When I met Liv for the first time she was pretty broken. Her eyes were dead, blank. She didn't had the fire in her that she has for the victims. And when I introduced myself as Casey Novak, the replacement for ADA Alexandra Cabot, she was furious. She yelled at me that nobody could replace Alexandra Cabot and she almost ran away. Elliot gave me a glare and ran after her. I walked to the same direction as where they left because that was the exit from the crime scene. I heard them arguing. Elliot said that she was overreacting, that they all were upset by losing you. That they all cared for you. Liv yelled at him that everyone but her had a family that cared about them, and that they cared for and loved. She screamed at him that he didn't know how it felt to lose the only person in your live you cared about, how it felt having to live your life alone, without her. And she crashed down on to the street. She was completely broken, Alex. Elliot picked her up and brought her to their car, she didn't even react, she said nothing just hung in his arms. That was not somebody who had lost her friend. That was more I thought. But Elliot said to me that there was nothing more between the two of you. That you were best friends but that was it." Casey explains.

"Poor Liv, I never knew this. I didn't know how lost she felt. I made a mistake that I will regret the rest of my life. I didn't listen to her when she told me to back off. I didn't thought I was in that much danger as I was. It almost got me killed and apparently it almost killed Liv too." Alex whispers.

Alex was in tears now and Casey had a feeling that Alex felt more then guilt. She had a feeling that Alex feels the same for Olivia as Olivia feels for Alex. Something that, nobody else but her knows .

"Alex, after the first case was finished and I was in my office Liv came by. I took it pretty hard and didn't think I could handle more of those cases. I kinda broke down. I asked Liv if it gets any easier. She said it didn't. I asked her why she did it and she answered that somebody has to do it. We talked a bit and somehow we got to the subject partners. I told her I was single and she said the same. I asked her why she was single. She said with this job it was difficult to find somebody who doesn't wanna hear all the gross details and liked it to much or walked away when they found out what her job was. After that conversation, slowly, we talked a few more times got to know each other better. And we became friends. Then we got the Connor case. We all were waiting in my office for you to celebrate the victory. When Hammond came in and told us you were in Witsec again and asked him to say goodbye, everybody was sad, but Liv ran out the room and went looking for you, like it was some kind of sick joke and you would be waiting somewhere to say goodbye to her. She left and went home. I went to her apartment, after we all left the office, to see if she was alright. I saw how she looked when you walked in my office when you came back for your testimony. And when you left again I was worried she couldn't take it a second time. When I knocked on her door she opened it and walked back to couch took the glass with whiskey and downed it. I closed the door and sat down next to her on the couch and she leaned into me. She asked me if I could remember our conversation after my first case. I said yes and asked her why. She answered 'what I said about partners and the job is true but it wasn't the reason why I didn't have a partner. Now you know why I don't have.'

I didn't knew so I told her I didn't knew why. I asked her why.

She said 'Because of Alex I don't have anybody.' She asked me to tell nobody what she was gonna say next. I promised her not to and I didn't tell anybody until now." Casey finishes.

Alex looks at Casey with a hopeful look in her eyes.

"What has it to do with me and why did she asked you to don't tell anybody?" Alex asks Casey.

"Alex, she told me her life was over when you left. You were and still are the only person she loved. She has nobody because she loves you, she is in love with you. But she never told you because she was afraid she will lose you if you know it. I promised her not to tell anybody and I haven't. When you and I both came back to SVU I asked her if she'd told you how she felt about you and if she still felt the same. She said she didn't tell you but that she still is in love with you. She loves you more then life itself. I see how much she means to you and I think you feel the same about her. That is why I tell you all of this and break my promise to her. I won't tell anyone else this. I will keep the rest of my promise. But I need to ask you this. Alex, do you love Liv, are you in love with her? What ever you say or tell me I won't tell anybody." Casey asks.

"Oh my god! Oh my God! She... She loves me! " Alex whispers shocked.

"You are right Casey. I do love her. I am in love with Liv. But you are sure that she still is in love with me? We fight over warrants and cases like we used to do before I left the first time. Sure we did some nice things together. But I thought she meant doing that as friends." Alex answers.

"Alex, don't worry, she is head over heals in love with you. You should hear her when someone is saying a bad word about you. If she was allowed to, she would kick everybody's ass and bite their heads off. And she probably would like to kill every men or woman that's checking you out. Hell she even yells at me when we are alone and I say something she doesn't like and I know she is in love with you. So my advice is, talk to her when you get the chance. I won't tell anybody. And I hope you both get your head out of your asses. Go for her, go get your girl when you get the chance. Your secret is safe with me. I've known it all those years and told nobody accept for you, so why start now? I mean it, go get her Cabot! Make her and yourself happy, it's about time don't you think?" Casey asks.

"Thanks Casey. I talk to her if I get a chance. I now know that I can trust you. So I'm not afraid that you talk about this." Alex answers.

Alex hugs Casey and Casey hugs her bag.

"Now let's go to the guys before they break down the room shall we? " Casey asks when they let go each other.

"Yes let's go." Alex answers.

When the women starts walking Jennifer is approaching them.

"Alex, Detective Benson is brought to CCU. The scan showed no brain damage. That is the good news. The bad news is that she has a lot of fractures, she needs surgery to set some of the fractures but right now her body is to weak and the doctor wants to wait a few days. The bones that had fractures and that didn't need surgery, were set. She has broken her cheekbones, her left shoulder, her left underarm at three places, her left wrist, 6 ribs, her left ankle, her left knee and her left thigh. Her right ankle is strained badly. A big concussion. She got a cut in her stomach which needed 20 stitches and cuts and bruises all over her body but they will heal." Jennifer says.

"Oh my God, oh Liv! Is she awake yet? Can I see her?" Alex asks Jennifer anxiously.

"She is awake for the moment but they have to sedate her. She asks for you and a Miss Casey Novak. Do you know who that is and if she is here?" Jennifer asks.

"I'm Casey Novak." Casey answers.

"Oh that is good. I don't have to search for you then. Alex, I need to talk with in private about something regarding to Detective Benson." Jennifer says.

"That is not necessary, Casey knows everything. So you can speak out freely." Alex answers.

"They have collected some material from under her fingernails and they have her clothes but couldn't take more. I will bring you the evidence they collected ." Jennifer says.

Alex has a defeated look on her face. Casey doesn't look better.

"I hate to bring this up. But we didn't gave a morning after pill to Detective Benson because she was unconscious and we need to know what she wants. So can one of you talk to her about that? I'll take you both to Detective Benson if you don't have any question you'd like to ask." Jennifer asks.

"Can we have a moment before you take us to Liv? " Alex ask.

"Yes of course." Jennifer answers.

Alex and Casey are walking a few feet away.

"Casey, what the hell do we tell Liv? And who is gonna talk to Liv about this?" Alex ask Casey.

"We tell her just as it is, I know it's hard but what choice do we have? What do you want? Do you wanna talk to her or do want me to do it?" Casey asks.

"Poor Liv. Dammit! I don't know how she is gonna take this. It will destroy her. Again. I talk to her if that's ok with you." Alex answers.

"Wait a second. Alex, what do you mean with it will destroy her again?"Casey asks.

"What do you know about Liv's past Casey?" Alex asks.

"Oh God. I'm so sorry! I know what you mean now. Shit! You are right. I think you should talk with her." Casey answers.

"Ok I will do it. Now let's go to Liv." Alex answers.

They walk back to Jennifer.

"We are ready to go now." Alex says to Jennifer.

They're walking to Olivia's room and both Alex and Casey take a deep breath before they walk into Olivia's room. To prepare for what they gonna see when they are in the room and see Olivia. When they walk in the room and see Olivia the both are in shock. Olivia's face is swollen because of the broken bones in her cheeks and she has bruises all over her face. Alex walks over to Olivia and takes her right hand in her own. Casey walks next to Alex. Olivia wasn't connected to a breathing machine since she was breathing on her own. Olivia woke op when Alex took the brunette's hand and opens her eyes.

"Liv, I'm so sorry. If I'd come sooner to the precinct none of this wouldn't have happened." Alex whispers softly.

"Alex, you couldn't have prevented this. This is not your fold! He would have done it to you too. And I just had to protect you. I always will, no matter what, Lex." Olivia says softly and turns to Casey then.

"Thank you for coming Casey." Olivia says.

"Of course I came. You are my friend Liv. There is no way in hell that I wouldn't come." Casey say.

"Amanda told you what happened Casey?" Olivia asks.

"Yes she called me when she was on her way to Melinda Warner and she told me what happened." Casey answers.

"Good then you know everything too. Did they take a rape kit, Alex?" Olivia asks softly.

"Yes they take swabs and collected evidence from your fingernails and they have your clothes to. I'm so sorry Liv, so sorry for everything he has done to you. The swabs are already taken to Melinda by Amanda. I will pick up the rest from a nurse called Jennifer and let Amanda bring that to Melinda too. Melinda will not say anything to the guys. So you don't have to worry about that." Alex says.

"Thank you, for doing all of this for me." Olivia answers.

Olivia looks at Casey. Casey give a short nod.

" Alex, will you take the evidence to Amanda so that she can bring it to Melinda for processing?" Olivia asks.

"Yes sure. I'll do it right now. I'll be back soon." Alex answers.

Alex squeezes Liv's hand and places a brief kiss on her forehead before she leaves the room.

Casey pulls a chair next to Olivia's bed and takes a seat.

"Case, did they gave me an morning after pill?" Olivia asks softly.

"No, they haven't. Jennifer said that we needed to talk about it with you. And Alex and I agreed that Alex would do it, talk with you about it, I mean." Casey answers.

"I need the morning after pill, Casey. Can you make sure they give it to me. I know they gonna sedate me as soon as you leave this room. And can you make sure that they will let Alex stay here as long as she wants?" Olivia asks.

"Don't worry. I will take care of it. Cabot, probably wanna stay here with you until you leave the hospital ya now." Casey says, trying to leave a not so subtle hint for Olivia.

"Did they say anything about the rape to Alex?" Olivia asks, ignoring the hint for a moment.

"No I was there when Jennifer came to talk to Alex about your injuries and she told they collected evidence from your fingernails and they got your clothes but other then that she didn't tell anything." Casey answers.

"Casey, I don't want Alex prosecute this case. I know she wants it and she is the best prosecutor, with you of course, but I don't want her to know the details of the rape I'm not ready for her to know about it. So I want you to take it. I don't trust anybody else but Alex and you. And I don't want anyone but you to know the details before the trial. It will be hard enough at the trial. Will you take it?" Olivia asks.

"Liv, of course I will prosecute this case. But why don't you want Alex to know the details ? You know she's gonna find it out at the trial." Casey asks.

"Casey, you now how I feel about her. She will never want me when she knows the details and I don't want her in the courtroom when I'm on the stand. So she won't now the details. I don't want her to lose her as my best friend too. Hell I am already risking to lose you as my friend. I just can't lose Alex, not again. Not now she is back in my life. And you don't tell her the details either no matter how she tries to make you tell them!" Olivia says sternly.

"I won't tell her but I think you're doing the wrong thing with not telling her about it. She cares about you very much why would she don't be your best friend anymore? Why wouldn't I want to be your friend anymore. What happened to you isn't your fold and it will not make a difference how Alex feels about you or how I feel about you. Nothing can change that." Casey answers.

"You say that now Casey but you can and will change your mind after you know the details and so is Alex." Olivia whispers.

"I respect your choice, I don't agree with it, but I respect it. I promise you, I won't tell her." Casey says.

"Thank you Casey." Olivia says.

A nurse came in.

"Ms Novak, Detective Benson needs her medication and we really need to sedate her. I have to ask you to leave the room." The nurse says.

"Can I speak with you for a moment? " Casey ask the nurse.

"Yes of course. Let me give Detective Benson her medication first." The nurse answers.

"Alex will be back here soon Liv, I know you want her to be with you. So don't worry about that." Casey says looking at Olivia.

"Thanks Casey. See you soon. I hope." Olivia answers.

"Yes of course. Liv, I have to take your statement as soon as you are waking up again, I'm afraid. I can hold it for the moment but I need to have it. I'm sorry." Casey says softly.

"I know Casey. And I know you do the best you can. Take care of Alex. I trust you, Casey." Olivia says.

"I will, I promise." Casey answers and leaves.

The nurse and Casey went on the hallway and Casey closes the door behind her.

"Alex will be back soon and when she does she won't leave Liv's side. Not until she is ready to leave this hospital." Casey tells the nurse.

"We know she is the MPA for Detective Benson and she is allowed to see the Detective during visiting hours. But otherwise she can't be there and I don't think there is much she can do about that." The nurse answers.

"Do you know who she is? "Casey ask the nurse.

"Yes, her name is Alex Cabot." The nurse says.

"Yes she is Alexandra Cabot. THE Alexandra Cabot. This hospital has a wing named after her. So I think she can stay with Liv as long as she wishes. Unless you want a law suit against this hospital and don't want to have the donation, which I think is huge, giving to this hospital anymore. Because you can be sure that's happening when you don't allow her to be with Liv when she wants to. I can promise you that!" Casey finishes.

"She is Alexandra Cabot, as in the Alexandra Cabot foundation?" The nurse asks, her eyebrows raised.

"The one and only. So you better think twice, before you decided to tell no to her, to anything as far as it concerns Detective Benson." Casey answers.

"No of course not. I make sure everybody here will allow her to stay with Detective Benson as long as she wishes. I didn't know. If I knew I wouldn't have said it. Ms Cabot has done a lot for this hospital so it will be a honor to do something back for her." The nurse says.

"I'm glad we understand each other. Detective Benson needs a morning after pill. I talked with her and she told me that she needs it. Now if you will excuse me, I have to fill in the other detectives of her squad and every other cop that is waiting for information. Ms. Cabot, Alex, will be be back soon to stay at Liv's side." Casey says.

"Yes of course. I make sure she gets the pill. Detective Benson will held in a drug induced coma because of the pain and the rest she needs. We allowed her to be awake for this amount of time because she insisted to talk to Ms Cabot and yourself. She just was being so stubborn and upset that we allowed it in the hope it would calm her down." The nurse says.

And just when she says it the alarm bells in Olivia's room are going off. The nurse rushes in to room with Casey on her heels.

"Miss Novak you have to leave the room, right now!" The nurse yells.

**What's wrong? What's happening...? You have to wait and find that out in the next chapter...**

**A/N 2 Just to be clear, there has been nothing more than friendship between Olivia and Casey. Nor will there be more then friendship between them. But anyone who has been reading my other stories will know that already. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 5

"_Miss Novak you have to leave the room, right now!" The nurse yells._

"What's happening?" Casey asks scared.

"She has an cardiac arrest." The nurse answers.

Casey is pushed out of the room when nurses and a doctor are running in to room.

"She is bleeding. Get the OR ready and somebody get a crash car NOW!" The Dr. screams.

The doctor is screaming the orders. One of the nurse comes out of the room and tells Casey to leave and go to the waiting room. Casey leaves with a terrifying look in her eyes. When Casey runs back to the waiting room she sees Jennifer.

"Where is Alex?" Casey asks.

"She is with Detective Rollins." Jennifer answers seeing the terrifying look in Casey's eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jennifer asks.

"I need to talk to her. Liv is having a cardiac arrest and she is bleeding they gonna take her back to the OR." Casey chokes out.

"She is over there." Jennifer says as she points at a door in front of them.

Casey walks to the door taking a deep breath before she opens the door. Alex and Amanda turn their heads to see who is coming in and see Casey standing there.

"Amanda can I speak with you for a moment? Take the rape kit with you." Casey says.

Amanda looks at Alex who nods at her and Amanda stands up, takes the rape kit and walks out the room.

"Alex, I be right back ok?" Casey asks.

"Yeah, sure Casey." Alex answers.

After that Casey closes the door behind her. She takes a deep breath before facing Amanda.

"Amanda, Liv's having a cardiac arrest and she is bleeding. They're taking her to the OR now. That's why I'm back already. So I need you do something, please?" Casey asks.

"Oh my God. Is she gonna be ok? What do need me to do?" Amanda asks worried.

Amanda is shocked but she understand that Casey needs her to pull it together.

"To be honest, I don't know. Liv is a fighter and I don't know anyone more stubborn than she is. Not even Alex. She needed to be on pain meds and in a drug induced coma but she insisted to talk to us and now this.

This is what I need you to do. Call Melinda and ask her to pick up the rape kit here in the hospital. Give it to Jennifer and ask her if she will hand it over to Melinda and only Melinda. You have to do something else here. Because I need to stay with Alex. Will you go to the waiting room and tell about the condition Liv is in now? And then ask the Captain to come and see me in here. Can you do that? Did Alex told you what injuries Liv has?" Casey asks.

"Yes, of course. I'll do it. Yes she told me. I suppose I don't tell them what Alex and you are doing?" Amanda asks softly.

"Amanda, Alex is doing nothing from now on. We'll be lucky if she can hold it together. That's why I need your help here. I need to stay with Alex. Now please do what you have to do. And tell the guys and everyone waiting there about the injuries Liv has." Casey answers.

"Ok I'm on it." Amanda answers and start walking to Jennifer.

"Oh Amanda, ask Cragen to wait 10 minutes before he comes inside. I need some time alone with Alex first." Casey say and then walks back in to the room.

Amanda walks to Jennifer and gives her the rape kit.

"Jennifer, can you give this to Melinda Warner our ME? And only to her. I have to take care of other things right now." Amanda asks.

"Yes of course. No problem. When does she come here?" Jennifer asks.

"I have to call her first. And then I have to go to the guys and the rest of the force to tell them what happened with Liv. Casey stays with Alex right now. So if anything changes go to Alex and Casey. Alex and Casey are going to stay there. Casey is telling Alex what wrong. The captain is going to be in there too in about 15 minutes." Amanda answers.

"Ok. If you need anything or if I can do something let me now." Jennifer say.

"Thank you. I'm gonna call Melinda now and then go to the guys." Amanda says.

Amanda walks in the direction of the waiting room and when she is alone she takes her cell from the clip and calls Melinda.

"Warner." Melinda answers the call.

"Melinda it's Amanda. Casey asked me to call you. The rest of the kit is done, can you come to the hospital to pick it up? I can't leave now. Olivia's condition is really bad. She had a cardiac arrest and she is bleeding they're taking her to the OR again she was supposed to be on medication and an drug induced coma but she was to stubborn and wanted to see Alex and Casey. Casey is with Alex right now to tell her what happened. She was with Olivia when Olivia was having the cardiac arrest. So you would really help us if you can pick up the kit here. Is that ok?" Amanda asks.

"Oh my God! I know Liv is a fighter and stubborn as hell, but to be honest this isn't good. Lets hope that Liv's as stubborn as she is with a hard case right now and keeps fighting. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Where can I pick up the kit? I'm running it from the hospital and when I'm done with it I'll stay in the hospital. Liv is more important right now." Melinda asks.

"Thanks Melinda. You now what it means for Olivia and Alex to handle this personally. You can pick it up by Jennifer. The nurse at CCU desk. Listen I have to go tell the guys now. But if it's possible can you check on Alex and Casey, see how they are doing? You know them for a long time and I think they will need somebody who knows them well for support. But don't tell Alex how bad it is if she don't ask you, please?" Amanda asks.

"I will check on them and if she is not asking I won't tell her. Now you go to the guys, I see you when I'm in the hospital. Bye Amanda." Melinda answers.

"Thanks Melinda. Bye." Amanda says and ends the call.

Amanda walks to the waiting room where the rest of the squad and other officers are waiting.

She goes in and asks for everybody's attention.

"I have bad news to tell ya'll. Olivia is in critical condition. She is back to OR because of a bleeding. She also had a cardiac arrest. I don't know more about her current situation other then this. This is what Ms. Novak could tell me. Olivia has many broken bones some of them needs surgery. And she had a big cut on her stomach that needed stitches. She should be on medication and a drug induced coma. But when she woke up she was too stubborn and insisted to see Ms. Cabot and Ms. Novak. That's when it went wrong. Not because of Ms. Cabot or Ms. Novak of course. Just to be clear. That's all I know for now." Amanda finishes.

Amanda looks at captain Cragen and walks to him.

"Captain, Casey asked me to take you to the room where Alex and she are now. You have to wait 10 minutes before you go inside. Casey is telling Alex what happened right now. Alex was with Liv when I came back and arrested Prentiss." Amanda says.

"Yes, I know that. Alex told me happened. Alright, let's go Rollins." Cragen answers.

Cragen and Amanda are walking out of the waiting room when his cellphone is ringing.

"Cragen." Cragen says answering his cellphone.

"...What?! How the hell did that happened?! " Cragen asks.

Cragen listens for a moment.

"We will be right back!" Cragen says firmly.

"Munch, Fin, Amaro!" Cragen yells.

Munch, Fin and Amaro walk to where Cragen and Amanda are standing.

"What's wrong Captain?" Amanda asks.

"Prentiss escaped from the precinct. He threatened to kill Olivia. Munch and Amaro you two are going back to the precinct right now! Fin you go the OR and stay there until there is somebody to replace you! Then you go back to the precinct too. Rollins you go to Alex and Casey and you stay there! I'll keep you updated but you won't leave their side for now. When Liv is back at the CCU you stay there outside her room. I'll have somebody to watch the door with you too. I'll be back at the precinct as soon as I handled things here." Cragen says, ordering what they all need to do.

When Cragen was finished they all looked like the are gonna bite Prentiss his head off.

"Keep it together and do what needs to be done. We owe it to Olivia. Now go!" Cragen orders.

The guys go to do what Cragen ordered them to do. And Cragen walks with Amanda to Alex and Casey.

In the mean time Casey tells Alex what happened with Liv.

"Alex, come sit on the couch." Casey says.

Casey waits for Alex to sit down before she continues.

"Alex, Liv is in critical condition. She had a cardiac arrest and she is bleeding. They're taking her back to the OR." Casey says softly.

Alex starts crying and throws herself in Casey's arms. Casey puts her arms around Alex and rubs Alex at her back.

"I can't live without Liv. She can't die. What am I suppose to do without her. I need her Casey. I don't know what to do without her." Alex whispers.

"Alex, Liv is a fighter and she is not dead. I know you are scared. But you must trust Liv. She is fighting you know that. You can be scared that's ok but have faith in Liv. Now Cragen is coming here in a few minutes. You don't have to hold it all together he knows you and Liv are close. But I think you need to tell him about what happened with Liv, so that he can help us with everything that needs to be done. I will do what I can but I need his help so you can stay with Liv. Is that ok? " Casey asks.

"Liv doesn't want the guys to know anything about her being raped. I wanna do this case I owe it to Liv." Alex answers.

"Alex, Cragen won't tell the guys but he needs to know what happened to be able helping me. Liv doesn't want you to do this case, she asked me to prosecute it. She doesn't want you to know what happened when she was raped. She is afraid she will lose you if you know what happened and she won't take that risk. She is afraid of losing me too when I know what happened. But she said she can't lose you, now that you are back in her life. She doesn't want you to be in the courtroom when she's on the stand. She is too scared to lose you. I'm sorry." Casey says softly.

Casey hopes that Alex will understand it. She knows Alex is having a hard time to keep it together.

"She is afraid of losing me? What the hell happened to her? That she is afraid of losing me and doesn't want me to know the details. That she doesn't want me in the courtroom when she's on the stand. Tell me Casey! Tell me what the hell happened to her and tell me it right now!" Alex almost yells.

"I don't know what happened she didn't tell me. And when she tells me I won't tell you. I promised her I wouldn't do that. And you know I what I do when I promise something. If Liv is ready for you to know she will tell you, but it won't be me telling you what happened." Casey answers calmly.

"She thinks I can't handle it, she thinks I can't win the case, that I'm not good enough, doesn't she?" Alex asks timidly, looking down at the floor.

Normally Alex would be furious but right now she's almost in shock. Shocked what happened to Olivia earlier and shocked and scared of what is happening now.

"No Alex, she thinks you're the best prosecutor there is. She only thrust us. The only reason why she wants me to do it, is she doesn't want you to know the details. She is afraid of losing you. And because she only thrust us as prosecutors she wants me to do it.

Alex, comparing to you, nobody is good enough. That's how Liv sees it. I'm second best in her eyes, not that she will ever admit that out loud to anyone. She said you are the best and I am with you. We both now what she means with that." Casey assured the blonde ADA.

"So she thinks I'm the best prosecutor there is?" Alex asks in disbelieve.

"Yes blondie, you're the best. So is it ok I do this case, now that you know you rock the world in Detective Olivia Benson's eyes?" Casey asks smiling a bit.

"Yes of course. If Liv is afraid of losing me, so afraid that she'll lose me if I know the details, you must do it. I don't want anyone else to do it. Liv, and I, thrust you. So, you do it." Alex says.

"You are feeling a little bit better now? You can lean on me when ever you need to. I will help you always if I can. For Liv and because I care for you as friend." Casey asks Alex.

"Yes I do, thank you. It's nice to know to have a friend right now. Someone who knows everything that happened to Liv and knows how I feel about her and won't tell it. I'm sorry for freaking out, Casey." Alex says softly.

"No problem. I understand it. And don't feel bad if it happens again. You're only human, and it's the woman you love we are talking about. That's what friends are for, to be there for each other when needed." Casey answers.

Cragen and Amanda are walking towards the room where Alex and Casey are staying.

"Captain, how are we gonna tell Alex and Casey that Prentiss has escaped from the precinct?" Amanda asks.

"I'll take the heat for that. I'll tell them. And because of his escape I want you to stay outside the door when I'm in there talking to them. So that we have them double covered. When I leave I make sure there is somebody the replace you by the door so you can go inside. Or handle something when asked." Cragen answers.

They've reached the room where Alex and Casey are. Cragen takes a deep breath before he opens the door and walks in. Alex and Casey look at the door when Cragen walks in. He closes the door behind him. Alex and Casey see the worried look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Alex asks Cragen.

Cragen knows he has to tell them the truth but he is not sure how they will take it especially Alex. He knows he has no other choice and takes a deep breath before he starts speaking.

"Prentiss escaped from the precinct. He threatened to kill Olivia. We..." Cragen says.

Before he can finish Alex interrupt him.

"HOW THE HELL DID HE DO THAT? WHAT KIND OF IDIOTS LET THAT HAPPEN?!" Alex screams at Cragen.

"Alex, calm down, please. Let him finish first." Casey says as she tries to calm Alex down.

Alex looks at Casey as if she is gonna bite her head of but stays silent.

"We have Fin staying at the OR until there is a replacement for him there than he'll go back to the precinct. Rollins is staying outside this door. She'll stay there until we haven somebody there too. Then she'll come in here to stay with the two of you. Until Olivia gets out of the OR. There will be an officer outside Olivia's room with Rollins. She will get an private room on the CCU because she is in protective custody now. Amaro and Munch are already back to the precinct. Rollins stays here to protect Olivia and to take care of things that needed to be done here. We have the whole squad and as many officers on this as we can." Cragen says.

Alex looks like she is going to break down. Both Casey and Cragen see it. Casey puts an arm around Alex.

"She'll make it Alex. And you know that Amanda will protect her with her own life. You need to have faith in Liv and in Amanda. Liv's a fighter and she'll fight for her life. Now will you tell him what we talked about or shall I do it? What do you want?" Casey asks carefully.

"You tell him, please. I... I... I just can't do it now. I don't know what to do Casey. I know Liv's a fighter but I'm scared." Alex whispers.

"I know Alex. I know that you're scared. We all are. I'm right here for you. I won't leave you alone. But I think I should talk with Cragen outside if that's ok with you. I'll be right back, ok?" Casey asks.

"Yes that's ok. I trust you. But come back soon, please?" Alex asks.

"I will. Don't worry about that. I'll ask Amanda to stay with you, while I talk with Cragen. So you don't have to be alone." Casey answers.

Casey looks at Cragen.

"Let's go outside. We need to talk." Casey says.

Cragen nod and turns around and leaves the room. Casey follows him outside and closes the door behind her. Amanda looks at Casey.

"I heard Alex yelling. Is she ok, Casey?" Amanda asks worried.

"No she's not. I need to talk with Cragen, can you go inside and stay with her until I come back?" Casey asks.

With the look Casey gives to Amanda she knows about what Casey needs to talk over with Cragen.

"Yes sure. I'll stay with Alex." Amanda answers.

Amanda opens the door but turns around to Casey.

"I called Melinda she'll be coming here for the rape kit, and will handle it from here, inside the hospital. When she's done she stays here too, if you gals want it." Amanda whispers.

Casey gives a nod to Amanda to make clear that she heard her and Amanda walks into the room and closes the door behind her.

**I promise that everything is gonna be alright. Eventually...**

**A/N An other cliffhanger. I know. But my muse told me she would kill me if I didn't keep ya'll on the edge of your chairs. And if she kills me I won't be able to continue writing the next chapter or keep working on any other story. So if you wanna be mad, be mad at my muse and don't kill me. I try to update the next chapter as soon as possible. (Which I only will be able to do if you don't kill me.)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I'm in contact with someone for beta reading my stories, so please be patient for a bit longer. I've used multiple spelling checkers and grammar checkers so this the best I can do by myself. And it's really motivating to see all the reviews, fav's, followers and stats of this story. Thank you all, very much.**

**Back to the story...**

**Of course things are getting heated once in a while. The question is can everyone control their emotions...? **

**Please, R+R.**

Chapter 5

"How the hell is it possible for Prentiss to escape from custody?" Casey asks Cragen furious.

"He escaped when they were ready to transfer him to Rikers. I've got every member of the squad on this as well every available cop of the NYPD. Don't worry, we..." Cragen answers.

"Tell that to Alex! Tell her that's she doesn't have to worry! Do you even know what Olivia went trough? Did she tell you what happened? All of it? Because if you do know, I don't know what has gotten in to you to say don't worry! Do you know everything?" Casey asks Cragen angry.

She is furious about the escape from Prentiss and afraid that Alex will lose it know that Olivia is in the OR and she knows Prentiss has escaped.

"Yes Alex told us what happened. That Olivia and she had agreed to have dinner at her office but that Olivia didn't show up. That she had tried to call her but that Olivia didn't answer the phone. She went to the precinct and that she found Olivia all beaten up. That Olivia asked her to get her gun and that she called for back up and waited in the stall. That she heard him coming back and that Amanda came in and arrested him. So yes I do know what happened." Cragen said.

"Well I have to disappoint you, I'm afraid. That's not all that happened and not the way as you describe it now. Let me fill you in. When Alex got to the precinct she found Liv beaten up and cuffed to the heating. Her clothes torn apart and she was bleeding. Yes she went to get the gun as Liv asked. When she came back and had called for back up she went in to the stall. But that isn't everything. Prentiss came back, but Amanda didn't show up right away. He said to Liv that diner was good but that it was time for his dessert. He assaulted Liv for the second time. Kicked the crap out of her literally. Alex heard the sound of bones being broken. Her ribs, 6 of them in total. She heard something slamming in to the heating and then the cuffs against it. It's then when Olivia's arm and wrist were broken. She heard him taking a few steps back and then she heard Liv saying " don't even think about it or I will shoot you." That was the moment that Amanda showed up behind him and arrested him..." Casey pauses to think how she was gonna put the next thing she had to tell in words.

"Dammit! That sick bastard. That was hell where Olivia went trough. And it certainly wasn't easy for Alex to hear all that. But why did she didn't came out of the stall? Now I understand what you mean with do you know what happened. Obviously I didn't but why didn't Alex told us this? Why didn't she told us everything, Casey?" Cragen asks.

"Alex stayed in the stall because Liv asked her to. She knew she couldn't protect Alex the way she wanted and she knew that the back up wouldn't be there in time. So she did the one thing she could do to protect Alex. She took the beating and kept quiet, didn't make a sound, to protect Alex. And the reason Alex didn't tell you and the guys this is because this isn't everything that happened. But Liv doesn't want the guys to know that. She even don't want Alex to know the details." Casey took a deep breath before she continued.

"She is raped, Don, and really bad. And Liv is afraid she will lose Alex as her best friend if Alex knows the details. She is afraid of losing me, when I know the details. Now we know that's not gonna happen but Liv is convinced that she is." Casey shakes her head in disbelieve.

"She told Alex that they had to take a rape kit in the hospital. And she asked Alex if she would stay with her. Alex told her that she would do everything for her that Liv wanted her to do. She doesn't want the guys to know that she is raped. And I only tell you this because I need your help. I can't leave Alex now, as I'm sure you'll understand. So I need you to take care of this part. Together with Amanda. She knows Liv is raped. And Melinda Warner knows it and send the results to Alex and Amanda only and keep this part away from the guys. So I think you understand now why Alex didn't tell everything when she talked with the guys and you." Casey finishes.

Having told everything she needed to say. Cragen was quiet for a few moments. Trying to take in all that Casey has told him.

"So let me get this straight. Prentiss beats the crap out of Olivia. Twice. And he raped her, apparently so bad that she refuses to let Alex know the details. Something else I need to know about what happened Counselor? Or do I know all there is to know about what happened? And yes I do understand why Olivia doesn't want the guys to know so I won't tell them. For now. From what you saying, I assume you are gonna be the prosecutor and not Alex?" Cragen asks Casey.

"Yes I'm going to prosecute Liv's case. But only because Liv doesn't want Alex to know the details. Otherwise Alex would have prosecuted this. Liv asked me if I wanted to do it because of this. No, there is nothing else to tell you about what happened. But Alex didn't know how to tell everything about Liv being assaulted twice, without the guys to find out Liv was raped too. I'm sorry you have to find out all of this the way you did. Alex did what she thought she needed to do to protect Liv the only way she could, to respect her wish." Casey answers.

"I don't blame Alex for what she did, Casey. I understand it. Now I need to go back to the precinct. Just promise me to take care of Alex."Cragen asks.

"I will. Don't worry about that. You have enough to be worried about." Casey answers.

And with a nod to Casey, Cragen leaves to take care of things and then go back to the precinct.

Casey was about to go back in to the room where Alex and Amanda were when Melinda arrived.

"Hey Casey, any news about Olivia?"

"Hi Melinda, no nothing since Amanda called you. I'm sorry you have to come all the way to the hospital to collect the rape kit. But we need Amanda here to protect Liv and Alex probably too. Although I don't know if we need to protect her or stop her. I think the first one now." Casey sighs.

"Why does Olivia need protection or Alex? Or stop Alex from doing what? I don't get it, Casey." Melinda asks.

"Oh my... I guess you don't know it then. Prentiss escaped from custody and threatened to kill Liv. With that Alex need protection too although I know that Cragen doesn't get that. But she will need it. Alex isn't gonna leave Liv's side until she's ready to leave this hospital. So that makes that she needs protection too. Either way we need Amanda here." Casey answers.

"Prentiss did WHAT ? How is that possible? Where is the damn bastard now? No way in hell Alex is gonna leave Liv alone in the hospital. And with Prentiss out, nobody is gonna change that." Melinda asks angrily.

"I don't know how that is possible. All I heard from Cragen is that he escaped. Alex freaked out when Cragen told us. I don't know how long she'll be able to hold it together. She..." Casey answers.

Casey gets interrupted by Alex yelling against Amanda.

"You don't know shit Rollins! So stop telling me you know that Liv and I are close! Ya think you know Liv? Well let me tell you something. You don't know her at all. And like hell you don't know her like I do!" Alex yells.

"Sorry Melinda, but I need to go inside before Alex tries to kill Amanda. Talk to you later." Casey says.

"Don't worry about me. I get it. I know how close those two are. So go save Amanda and try to calm Alex down. When I'm done I'll come back here. Now go." Melinda answers.

Casey opens the door and find Alex standing toe to toe with Amanda. Who, even though she is a detective, looks scared.

"Alex, calm down. Yelling at Amanda isn't going to help. She's trying to help you." Casey says while she puts her arm around Alex and tries to calm down the blonde ADA.

"I'm sorry Amanda. I don't know what got in to me. I know you're doing the best you can." Alex says softly.

"It's ok Alex. I know you don't mean it. You and Olivia know each other for what.. 12 or 13 years? But Casey is right. You need to calm down. Let me do my job. You know I don't let anyone hurt Olivia. Not if I can help it. Now I'm gonna stay right outside in front of the door and try to find out if I can get more information about Liv and how far we are with the case. I'll be back soon. Just call me if you need anything ok?" Amanda asks.

" If we need you we call." Casey answers.

And with that Amanda left the room. Alex and Casey are sitting next to each other on the couch and it's quiet for about 10 minutes before Alex speaks up.

"Casey I'm scared. I'm afraid that Liv's not gonna make it. I know she is a fighter but he kicked and beat her up really bad. She saved my life and protected me. He tortured her, beat her and kicked her and there was nothing I could do. I felt so helpless, I couldn't protect her when she needed it. It's my fold he broke more bones and her ribs. It's my fold because she was protecting me again, even though there was nothing she could do. She always has been very protective about me and when she needed me to protect her, I couldn't, I failed." Alex says.

"Alexandra Cabot, don't blame yourself for this. First of all there was nothing that you could have done to change the situation you both were in. Second you did the right thing. You stayed where Liv asked you to stay so she didn't have to worry about your safety. You protected her and yourself by doing that. And third, the entire NYPD and DA's office knows how protective Liv is when it comes to you. They may give you a hard time but nobody, and I mean nobody, dares to threaten you in your face or say something trough the graveyard or otherwise." Casey says.

"What do you mean with nobody dares to say something or threaten me? And what has Liv to do with that? Who, besides the guys, knows how protective she is with me?" Alex asks.

Alex is stunned by what Casey said and just couldn't believe it. She really thought that it wasn't that bad.

"Because they all are afraid of the ass chewing they get from you. And they are even more afraid of Liv kicking their asses or beat the crape out of them when she finds out they did do it. There is nobody stupid enough to do that. I think even the rookies get a warning if they have to work with you or Liv, one way or the other." Casey answers.

"Casey don't you think you are going a little over the top now? It can't be that bad. Sure there will be a few people but not that many and I don't think people will be so scared or afraid of it." Alex asks.

"You wanna have an example? An explanation that it's for real? Because believe me Alex, it is." Casey answers.

"Ok, give me an example and try to convince me, Casey." Alex says.

Casey sighs and shakes her head in disbelieve and decides to tell her about the time she was just assigned to SVU as their ADA.

"Alright, I'll give you an example. Just a few weeks after you went into Witsec I heard two cops talking. One of them was a rookie who just joined the force. He apparently had met you a couple of times and told him that he thought you were a bitch who just needed to be set on her place. That you were assigned to SVU because you weren't good enough for hard cases and that you would have your ass kicked in court if you were with an other precinct. Would you not have been shot. The other cop said that he couldn't be more wrong, that you were the best prosecutor that SVU ever had. And that he better could keep his opinion to his self. Because if Detective Benson found out about this, his ass would be kicked, hard. That nobody in the force was stupid enough saying these kind of things or threaten you because of Detective Benson. The rookie said he wasn't afraid of Liv and that he would tell her exactly how he thought about you if the moment came. And that she couldn't kick his ass because she was a woman and he was a man so he was stronger and better than her. That he would kick her ass instead of Liv kicking his ass. I saw the other cop's face turned pale and didn't answer him. When I turned around I saw Liv standing there.

And to say she was pissed off and angry as hell, is an understatement. By the time she was finished chewing his ass off, the rookie was shaking with his entire body. Hell even I was afraid and she hadn't chewed my ass off. That's when I knew I never could compete with you in her eyes. And I made a note in my mind, never piss her off about you. Next thing I know about it is that the rookie had asked for a transfer the same day to an other precinct. He was afraid that if he let something slip out of his mouth an other time, she would kill him. So long story short, we all know how protective Liv is when it comes to you.

And that's why she won't die. She will be fighting for her life so you will be safe. Because she loves you. And of course to kick the ass of anyone that even points their finger in your direction." Casey finishes her story.

She looks at Alex to see if she got it. Understand what she says and try to give her some hope. Hope that she herself could use too. Alex is quiet for a moment trying to let it sink. And get her emotions under control. Nobody ever had cared for her that much. She always felt save when Olivia was by her side. She knew that she would be save as long as the strong detective was with her. But she never thought that Olivia would protect her like that or defending her that way, when she wasn't even there. It made her love the brunette even more.

"She really did that? She really got that angry that the rookie was shaking so badly and asked for a transfer that same day?" Alex asks.

"Yes she really did that. She would have kicked his ass too, if needed. Now do you believe me when I say that Liv will keep fighting to stay alive, to be able to protect you?" Casey asks.

"Yes I do. Thank you for giving me some hope, Casey. Hope and believing. For having faith in Liv. That she will fight to stay alive. Nobody ever cared for me so much to do what Liv does and did. I never had someone who stands up for me the way Liv did and protect me like this. I didn't realize this. Didn't know it. I have to kick my ass myself and be there for Liv now. Now that she needs me to protect her. Needs my help. I just hope she will let me do that." Alex says softly.

"Well, get used to it. Because Liv will do it again. She will do it every time she thinks she needs to protect you or defend your honor. I think that as soon as Liv is awake again and able to talk, you should tell her how you feel about her. It won't change that she isn't ready for you to know the details of what happened. But it will reassure her that she isn't gonna lose you, if she knows you feel the same for her as she is feeling for you. And maybe it will help you both getting trough this rough and hard time. Knowing that you have the one you love at your side. Besides that, I think the both of you have beaten around the bush long enough. It's time you two let each other know what you are truly feeling for each other." Casey says.

"If she's gonna make it I will tell her what I feel for her. That I love her." Alex says.

"Not if, Cabot. When. Liv is gonna make it. I KNOW she is gonna make it. Maybe the medical team isn't sure, but I am. Yes the road will be long and hard. Surgeries will be needed and PT will be hell for her. But she is gonna make it." Casey says sternly, but with a soft tone in her voice.

"You are right. She will make it. And I'm gonna be there for her, every step on the road." Alex says with conviction in her voice.

"That's the spirit." Casey says.

Meanwhile outside Alex's and Casey's room.

Amanda is standing in front of the room. She just hang up with Nick when Cragen walks towards her, relieve on his face.

"Judging by the look on your face, I would say you have of good news. Don't you, Sir?" Amanda asks.

"Yes, Rollins. Some patrolling officers have arrested Prentiss just in front of the hospital about 10 minutes ago. He is on his way to Rikers. With extra manpower, to make sure he will arrive there. So I need to talk with Casey now. He needs to be brought up first thing tomorrow morning. I know we need Olivia's official report. But with all the evidence we have and Alex's and your testimony we should be able to get an conviction. Since Olivia is in the OR now and will kept in a coma after that we have to wait until she wakes up and is able to give it and her testimony. On the other hand we would be doing our jobs badly if we can't get the bastard behind bars without her." Cragen answers.

"Alright, let's go inside and tell them that the bastard is on his way to Rikers." Amanda answers.

**A/N2 I am really sorry but my Muse is playing tricks with my mind again, and she wanted twists again. She is just driving me crazy! But don't tell her that. You know how they are, and I don't want a writers block. Neither do I want to sleep on the couch for the next week or so, thank you very much. :P **

**So please, do me a favor and keep all your mouths shot. **

**Thank you for understanding this.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"_Alright, let's go inside and tell them that the bastard is on his way to Rikers." Amanda answers._

Amanda knocks on the door shortly and then opens it and walks inside, Cragen is following behind her and closes the door behind him. Alex and Casey look up, and even though the Captain and the blonde Detective tried to hide it, both ADA´s can see that something in this nightmare had changed and for the better this time.

"Alright, Don, spill it. I know something happened and this time it doesn't look like it's something bad." Casey says.

"You are right, Casey. And I know that you, Alex, noticed it too. Alright, I won't beat around the bush. Prentiss was arrested about 15 minutes ago. He is on his way to Rikers as we speak, with extra uni's to make sure he gets there this time. So Casey, we need him brought in first thing tomorrow. And can you try to arrange he will be hold in a cell alone? We don't want him to get beaten up or worse killed before he is convicted and sentenced." Cragen explains.

The fire in Alex's eyes surprises Cragen and Amanda but they are glad it's there.

"Casey, if it's alright with you, I would like to handle this. I know a few people whom own me a huge favor. So I think Don's request can be arranged in a minute or two." Alex says with her courtroom voice.

The redhead smiles softly hearing this. As well do Cragen and Amanda. The three of them know that for this moment ADA Cabot is back and ready to strike.

"No problem at all, Counselor. Go kick some ass', Cabot. If you need to." Casey answers with a smile.

"I think I know who to call without needing to kick someone's ass actually." Alex answers, scrolling at her cellphone and hits the call button.

"Liz, it's Alex. I need to ask you a favor." Alex says.

"Does it has something to do with Detective Benson, Alexandra? If that's the matter you can ask any favor you need, I'll do the best I can to make it happen." Liz answers.

"Yes it has. We have the asshole that attacked Liv arrested, and we think it's for the best if he gets a cell on his own. We don't want to have the bastard beaten up or killed before trial and sentencing. Can you arrange that for me, for us I mean?" Alex asks.

"It's alright to ask it for yourself or for Benson and yourself, Alexandra. That being said, consider it done. I want him to make it to trial and get sentenced for life too. Keep me posted, please. Oh and Alexandra, stay at your woman's side. I'm not blind or stupid. That goes for the both of you. She's a fighter, she won't give up. Call me if you need something else, like a warrant or something like that. I don't care what time it will be. Understood?" Liz asks.

"Thank you, Liz. I will do both of it." Alex answers.

"Take care, Alexandra. Goodbye." Liz says.

"Goodbye Liz." Alex says and ends the call.

"Liz takes care of it. And if we need anything else, like a warrant, we or I just need to call her no matter what time it is. But since Casey is taking this case, she should call I think." Alex says.

"Good to know, Alex. Well now that Prentiss is of the street I think that Rollins and I should go back to the precinct. We have enough to do there. I have sent Fin back already. If we need something we know where to find you two. Keep us posted. And if there is something we can do for both of you let us know." Cragen says.

"We will. As soon as we know something we will tell you." Alex answers.

"Good. Well, we leave you ladies alone now then." Cragen says.

"Melinda asked me to tell you that as soon as she is ready she will come to stay with the two of you." Amanda says.

"Thank you Amanda. And thank you for all you have done." Alex says.

"No need to thank me, Alex." Amanda answers.

Amanda gives Alex and Casey a quick hug and then Cragen and she leaves. An hour later there was a knock on the door and Jennifer came inside.

"Detective Benson made it through surgery. They were able to stop the bleeding. They lost her once on the table but were able to get her back after 3 minutes. She is in recovery now. She will stay there for about half an hour to an hour and then transferred back to CCU then. But she isn't out of the woods yet. The next 48 hours will be extremely critical. If she makes trough the next 48 hours, then she will have a chance to survive. They will keep Detective Benson in a drug induced coma for at least the same 48 hours. After that they will decide if she needs to stay in it longer or not. When she is back at CCU I will come and get you and bring you to her. Ms. Novak, you can stay inside for 10 minutes. After that you have to leave. Alex, you may stay with Detective Benson. Next to Detective Benson's room is a waiting room for family. Normally only family can stay there, but Captain Cragen told me that Detective Benson doesn't have any relatives, and asked if Ms. Novak could stay there with anyone of them if they come here. I told him that it was alright." Jennifer says.

"When she makes it trough the next 48 hours what are Liv's chances she will make it?" Alex asks softly.

"The Dr. who preformed the surgery said that if she makes it through next 48 hours, she has a 35% chance. If she makes it trough the next 80 hours he thinks she has a 55% chance. But all of this is based on her current condition. If her condition improves the chances will get bigger too. If her condition doesn't improve or gets worse he thinks she won't make it, based on what's she's been trough so far and that they have lost her a couple of times. And they don't know what damage she will have due to the lack of oxygen in her brains or if she can recover from all her injures. It's too early to say something about that. But something tells me that Detective Benson is fighter. I've seen a lot of patients, some of them with the same kind of injuries who didn't make it trough surgery. She made it twice so far. That tells me that she won't give up without one hell of a fight. It doesn't guaranty anything, like I said the next 48 hours are extremely critical. I'm sorry that I don't have better news for you." Jennifer says.

Alex is completely lost and barely keeps herself together. Casey takes the blonde attorney in her arms and turns her face to Jennifer.

"Thank you for coming here to tell us this. I don't want to be rude but could you leave us alone now, please? And could you call me if Dr. Warner is ready? She will stay with us here or with me, when Liv is back at CCU, that is if you will give her permission." Casey asks.

"Yes she can. I will call you when she comes. I let you two alone now. If there is anything I can do don't hesitate to come and ask me." Jennifer says softly before she leaves the room.

**A/N My muse keeps me writing, which is a good thing since I could write an other chapter. She also is extremely cruel if you ask me, leaving y'all on the edge of your chair again. I try to update as soon as I can, and not to leave you hanging too long. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I'm sorry it took me this long, but there was a new chapter that kept screaming inside my mind for the newest story I'm writing. I had to get it out of my head and posted before I could write and post this chapter.**

**Y'all keep surprising my, positively, with all the reviews and followers and fav's this story already has. It means a lot to me that y'all like this story. It makes me feel better in my personal life. So keep R+R. **

Chapter 7

It was an hour later when Jennifer came back and knocked on the door.

"Alex, Detective Benson is at CCU now. I can bring you to her if you want to." Jennifer says.

Alex jumps up from the couch.

"Bring us to her, please." Alex says.

Jennifer nods and the three women walk to Olivia's room. When they are there Jennifer turns around.

"Detective Benson is hooked to a lot of machines. So there are a lot of wires. It's not a pleasant sight. She probably looks worse than the last time you saw her. I just want to warn you. It is very important that you stay calm once you are inside. If it becomes too much for you, which is perfectly normal, step outside for a moment, just until you are calm enough to go back inside. Ms. Novak, you need to leave after those 10 minutes I mentioned earlier. Maybe you can go back inside later today but that depends on how Detective Benson is doing. Now are you ready to go inside?" Jennifer asks.

"Alex, why don't you go inside alone first, so you can be alone with Liv? You can call me inside when you are ready." Casey asks.

"Thank you for offering, Casey. But I would like it if you come inside with me now. After that I can be alone with Liv." Alex answers.

"I'll do what you want me to do. If you want me to go inside with you now, I'll do it. But don't feel like you have to, I can wait." Casey says.

"I know. I'd like you to come inside with me now." Alex says.

"Alright, lets go inside then." Casey answers.

Alex takes a deep breath and opens the door and walks inside, Casey follows right behind her. Alex gasps when she sees Olivia. She needs a moment to collect herself and walks to Olivia's bed. She takes a seat in the chair next to Olivia's bed and takes Olivia's right hand in her own. Casey is visibly upset too but stays calm. She walks next to Alex and stands behind the blonde attorney and lays her hand Alex's shoulder. Casey nods at Jennifer who nods back and then closes the door and walks back to the reception desk. After Jennifer closed the door Alex leans over and kisses Olivia's forehead.

"I'm here now, Liv. I'm not leaving your side. Casey is here too. She only stays for 10 minutes but she'll stay close after that. She stays in the room next to yours. So we are both here with you." Alex says softly.

Casey stayed for 10 minutes before she leaves.

"I'm just next door Alex, if you need me just call me. You and Liv are not alone." Casey says softly.

"I know. I call you if needed. Thank you for being here for Liv and for me, Casey." Alex answers.

"No need to thank me, Alex. That's what friends are for." Casey says.

Casey squeezes Alex shoulder and then leaves the room. She goes into the next room and calls her secretary to bring her some files. She's not leaving soon anyway and she needs to work on Olivia's case. Prepare for tomorrow morning. She is working for about one and a half hour when there is a knock on the door and Melinda steps inside. She closes the door behind her.

"How's Liv doing?" Melinda asks, taking the seat next to Casey.

"It's not looking good, Melinda. To tell you the truth, the Doctors don't think she's gonna make it. The didn't say it specifically but with what they did say I know that's what they think. The next 45 hours are extremely critical. When she makes it trough that, she has 35% chance. When she makes it through the next 77 hours, she has a 55% chance. All of this depending on her condition. If her condition improves the chances improve. If her condition goes worse her chances will get lower than they already are. They were able to stop the bleeding but they lost her once on the table again, took them 3 minutes to get her back." Casey explains.

"Damn, that doesn't look good at all. The way I see it, judging on what you told me, there is a miracle needed for Liv to make it. I know she is a fighter, but to tell you the truth, we can only pray that she's gonna make it. How is Alex holding up?" Melinda asks.

"Barely holding it together. I can tell you this, if Liv's not gonna make it we're not losing one person, we lose two. There is no way Alex will survive it if Liv dies." Casey answers sadly.

"Not to mention she'll beat herself up for the rest of her life. I know she blames herself for what happened. How are you doing? This can't be easy for you too." Melinda says.

"I just want to nail the bastard to the wall and get his ass in Rikers for the rest of his life. Don't get me wrong, this isn't easy for me either. But it's not as hard for me as it is for Alex, and I'm not the one fighting for my life. I need to keep my head together till after the trial. There is no way I hand this over to someone else. Not to mention that someone needs to keep the guys in line if Liv's not gonna make it. What about you? You know Liv and Alex the longest of the two of us. How are you doing?" Casey asks.

"Same as you. I do what ever I can to help you nail this asshole. I processed everything myself. Made sure that this has priority in the lab. It is hard though, to see Liv so broken, literally. And to see Alex in so much pain. It's obvious that they mean a lot to each other. Now, is there something I can do for you while I'm here?" Melinda asks.

"Well, they took the rape kit but I need photo's of Liv's body from the assaults. I need Alex's official statement too. But there is no way she'll leave Liv's side now. So I don't know how to get that done." Casey answers.

"How about I'm gonna sit with Liv while you take Alex's statement and in the mean time I take the photo's of Liv's body? I know she don't want anyone to see it. And it's the least I can do for her and Alex." Melinda asks.

"If we can convince Alex to leave Liv for about 20 minutes, I'm game. But that's gonna be the hardest part, convincing Alex." Casey answers.

"Not that it matters to me, and considering the state Alex is in, it's probably a stupid question. But why are you trying this case and not Alex, isn't that what Liv would have wanted, if she was conscious?" Melinda asks.

"Liv has been conscious before she got a cardiac arrest. She asked me to prosecute this case. She doesn't want Alex knowing the details from what happened to her. Prentiss raped her badly and she is convinced she will lose Alex if she knows the details. We both know that's never gonna happen but you know Liv. She's afraid of losing me when I know them. If it wasn't for this it would have been Alex trying this case." Casey answers.

"Yeah, I know Liv. I never have met anyone more stubborn and hard headed than Badass Benson, not even Alex. And you and I both know how she can be. But I think we might have the answer at how we are going to convince Alex. Liv doesn't want her to know the details, so she definitely doesn't want Alex to see her body like this. That's how we can get Alex out of the room for 20 minutes and to give her statement to you. But that's probably the most you can get, 20 minutes I mean." Melinda says.

"You are probably right about that. Alright, lets try it." Casey answers, standing up from her seat.

Casey and Melinda went outside their room and Casey asked Alex to step outside for a moment. It took both women some time but in the end they managed to convince the blond attorney to leave Olivia's side for 20 minutes, and not one second more. So Alex went into the next room with Casey and Melinda arranged a photo camera to take the photo's of Olivia's body before she went into Olivia's room. The medical examiner walks Olivia's bed.

"Hey Liv, it's Melinda. Don't worry, Alex is in the next room with Casey. I need to take the pictures from your body and I didn't think you would Alex to be here for that. So she's gonna stay with Casey and give her statement in the meantime. Alex will be right back at your side as soon as she and I are done. There is nobody else in your room but you and me. Nobody will see your body, nobody but me. That's the best I can do for you now." Melinda says.

She keeps talking to Olivia as she takes the photographs of the Detective's body. When she's done she puts back the blanket over the brunette's body and takes a seat in the chair next to her. 15 minutes later Olivia's blood pressure and heart rate are getting higher in a fast tempo and she calls the Dr. and nurses. They try to get her blood pressure and heart down but no matter what they do they can't get it down. Melinda decides to get the one person, she knows can make it happen, back into Olivia's room. She walks into the next room. Alex is just finished with her statement when Melinda gets inside.

"Alex, Liv's blood pressure and heart rate are dangerously high right now and they can't get lower, so I need you to go back into her room and talk to her." Melinda says calmly.

"What makes you think I can get it down? What do I say to her?" Alex asks panicked.

"Just talk to her. You'll know what you need to tell her." Melinda answers.

Alex glares at Casey before looking back at Melinda.

"Don't glare at Casey, what ever it is you told her, she didn't tell me it. Now get your ass in that room and talk to her, Counselor." Melinda says sternly, but with a soft tone in her voice to let Alex know that she's not mad.

Alex jumps up out of her chair and runs to Olivia's room, with Melinda and Casey on her heels. Alex wants to enter the room but one of the nurses stops her. Melinda speaks up.

"Let her trough, she is the only one that can get Detective Benson's pressure and heart rate down. So unless you want her death on your conscience I suggest you let her through." Melinda says.

The nurse starts to protest but Alex has enough and pushes her aside and makes her way trough the nurses and Dr. in the room. The Dr. wants to call security but the death glares he receives from Alex and Casey stops him. Alex walks to Olivia quickly and bows her head to Olivia's ear and starts whispering in the Detective's ear. As soon as Alex is finished and sits down in the chair, Olivia's blood pressure and heart rate are going down. She takes Olivia's hand in her own and keeps whispering in the Detective's ear. One minute after the blonde ADA came bursting into the room, Olivia's vitals are on a normal level again. The Dr. and nurses are stunned. They don't know what happened, what the blonde attorney said, but what ever it was it helped. What they had tried to do for minutes, Alex did it in about 30 seconds. It's clear to them that if they want the Detective to make it they need to let the blonde stay at her side at all times. Casey and Melinda shake their heads, they don't know exactly what Alex said but they know that it will make Olivia keep fighting for her life and now probably harder than she ever had done before.

After 2 minutes the Dr. leaves Olivia's room. The nurses already had left it. After he closed the door behind him he turns to Casey and Melinda.

"We tried to get her vitals back to normal or at least less dangerous. But whatever we tried it didn't work. And she burst into the room talks to her for what, 30 seconds, and got the Detective's pressure and heart rate back to normal. So what did she say? What the hell just happened?" The Dr. asks.

"I think I have a pretty good idea what she said to Liv, but it is not my place to tell you that. And no matter what you try, you won't get it out of me. The only thing you need to know is that if you want Liv to make it, you need to leave Alex at Liv's side. What Alex said will keep Liv fighting and I'm convinced that she will make it now, no matter what you think." Casey answers.

"You now what Ms.? I'm sorry, I don't know your name." The Dr. says.

"I'm Casey Novak. And you are?" Casey asks.

"I'm sorry for not introducing myself, I'm Dr. Patton. Ms. Novak, I think you might be right. I really thought that we were gonna lose her again and this time wouldn't be able to get her back. I wouldn't have believed it, if I didn't saw it with my own eyes, what just happened. Ms. Cabot must mean a lot to Detective Benson, they must have a really special connection, because I have never seen this before. I'm a Dr. for quite some years and I never have seen a person in a coma and critical condition react like Detective Benson just did. Detective Benson isn't out of the woods yet but I start to think that she actually can make it. Her chances are definitely increased, I think. Now if you will excuse me, I need to contact her Captain and inform him about Detective Benson's condition." Dr. Patton says.

"I'll contact the Captain, Dr. Patton. I'm the squad's ADA as is Alex. And this our medical examiner Dr. Warner. So if it's alright with you, I'll inform them about Liv's current situation." Casey answers.

"Yes, of course. Do you stay here in the hospital, Ms. Novak? And are you too, Dr. Warner?" Dr. Patton asks.

"Yes, Dr. Warner will stay for now and I'm staying here. Jennifer has given us that room to stay in. The squad and Captain Cragen will come to visit Liv or Alex and I from time to time. There will always be one of us staying here to support Alex and Liv. If I'm not here, one of them will be." Casey answers, pointing at the room behind her.

"May I ask why Jennifer has authorized you to stay, you are not a relative of Detective Benson are you?" Dr. Patton asks.

"Dr. Patton, Liv has no family, blood relatives I mean. We are her family. And you were right about the connection between Alex and Liv. They have a very special bond. So to answer your question, that's why Jennifer agreed with this." Casey answers.

"I understand. So is it safe to assume that you will keep the Captain and her squad up to date? It's easier for us this way." Dr. Patton asks.

"Yes I will. May I go to Liv and Alex for a few minutes, Dr. Patton? I won't stay longer then 5 minutes tops." Casey asks.

"You both may go inside for 2 minutes together. If it wasn't for the two of you, we wouldn't have let Ms. Cabot inside and we probably would have lost Detective Benson. So I can give you 2 minutes together. But after that you have to go back to the other room." Dr. Patton answers.

"Thank you Dr. Patton, we will leave after 2 minutes. It's just that I want to be there for my friends for a moment." Casey answers.

"I understand. Now if you will excuse me this time, I have other things I need to do. I'll keep checking on Detective Benson every other hour, as long as nothing changes of course." Dr. Patton says.

"Yes, of course. And thank you Dr. I'm sure we will see you again." Casey answers.

Dr. Patton nods and walks away. Casey looks at Melinda who nods and opens the door and walks inside Olivia's room. Casey walks to Olivia's bed and stands next to Alex, Melinda closes the door behind her and walks to the end of Olivia's bed.

"You told her it, didn't you?" Casey asks softly.

Alex turns her head around and looks at Casey.

**A/N 2 Sorry for an other cliffhanger, although I don't think this one is as worse as the other ones were. What did y'all think Alex whispered in Olivia's ear? And will it keep Olivia fighting for her life and make it?**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"_You told her it, didn't you?" Casey asks softly._

_Alex turns her head around and looks at Casey._

"If you're talking about what I think you are talking about, then no I didn't told her that. When I do I want her to be able to respond, not in a drug induced coma. Unless we have a similar situation and what I will say doesn't help." Alex answers.

Casey looks shocked at Alex and Melinda frowns her eyebrows. She has an idea what the two are talking about but she's not sure. Casey can't think of anything else that would kept Olivia from going to the other side of the edge.

"If you didn't tell her that, then what the hell did you tell that gets her react like this?" Casey asks.

"You know how protective Liv is, certainly about me. I told her that I need her, to be safe and to feel safe. That no one else can do that for me. That she is the only one who gives me that feeling. I told her about Prentiss. That I need her to keep fighting so that she can protect me. And it is the truth. She is the only person who can make feel safe the way she makes me feel it. And I never can be safer then when I'm with her. Since I have been in the hospital I didn't feel safe. Just being with her even like this makes me feel better and safer already. She always looks out for me whether she knows it or not. Unconsciously she always protects me and looks out for me." Alex answers.

"Well, obviously it worked. I hope you did tell her, again, that you won't leave her side as long as she is in the hospital." Casey says.

"Of course I did." Alex answers with a small smile at the corners of her mouth.

"Well this not what I expected when I kicked your ass and told you to talk to her. I have to say though that it was a good thing. Liv is fiercely protective about you. But that's something everyone knows, nothing new there." Melinda says.

"I'm sorry for glaring at you, Casey. I know you would never betrayal my trust." Alex apologizes.

"Don't worry about it. We're good. Now we have to leave. Dr. Patton told us we could be here for two minutes. And I'd like to come back inside again, so I won't push it." Casey answers.

"Thank you both for standing up for me when they wouldn't let me trough." Alex says.

"I meant what I said to the nurse. When I saw that they weren't able to get her vitals down, I knew that you were the only person who could do it. I was ready to chew her ass off when you had enough of it and were determined to get to Liv. But Casey is right, we need to go. Take care of yourself and Olivia, Alex." Melinda says.

"I don't wanna push it either. So I see you later." Alex says.

Melinda nods and walks out of the room. Casey bows to Olivia and whispers in her ear that she has a special woman sitting next to her and that she needed her, so that Olivia needs to keep fighting. She stands up straight and hugs Alex before she leaves the room too. Leaving Alex and Olivia alone. Knowing after what she saw minutes earlier that Olivia would make it somehow, as long as Alex was at her side.

The next hours Olivia's condition improved extremely well. Her vitals stayed normal. They would go a little higher twice but both times Alex talked to her and she calmed down immediately. Dr. Patton was surprised by Olivia's improvement. He did warn Alex and Casey that they weren't there yet. That Olivia wasn't out of the woods yet. But with every hour she stayed stable the chances would get higher. During the day Olivia was hand over to Prof. Nathalie Diando. A young Prof. specialized in cases of severe trauma like Olivia. She heard what Alex had done the day before and agreed that the blonde attorney could stay at Olivia's side. She also agreed with Casey staying in the next room. Half way through her 24 hour shift Prof. Diando came back into Olivia's room to talk with Alex. Of course she had visited Olivia on a regular basis.

"Good evening Prof. Diando." Alex says.

"Good evening Ms. Cabot. I'd like to have a word with about Detective Benson, Ms. Cabot." Prof. Diando says.

"Oh. Alright. And call me Alex, please. Is there something wrong with Liv?" Alex asks a bit worried.

"Alright, Alex it is. And please call me Nathalie. Actually Detective Benson is doing better than I thought she would. Considering her trauma's she improves much better than expected. Since you came into her room she stabilized and her vitals are very good. The scans of her head didn't show any irregularities, like we were afraid of. So that's a very good thing. In normal words, she has no brain damage due to the lack of oxygen. And she is stable for about 16 hours now." Nathalie says.

"What does that mean, Nathalie?" Alex asks.

"Alex, I'm gonna be honest with you. There is a huge difference between before and after you came in Detective Benson's room. After the second surgery and the first time you came into Detective Benson's room, I mean." Nathalie says.

"What do you mean with before and after I came into Liv's room?" Alex asks.

"As I s aid there is a huge difference before and after you. Let's start with before. With all the information I have and based on my own knowledge and experience, I think Dr. Patton's expectations about Detective Benson's chances on surviving were very optimistic. To put it lightly. He gave her a 35% chance if she would make through the first 48 hours and 55% chance after 80 hours, from the moment she made it through the second surgery.

I wouldn't have given her more then 8 hours left. She made it trough two surgeries. Two surgeries, with her kind of trauma and complications, I never have seen someone survive it. With one surgery I have seen survivors. But not with two surgeries, the bleeding she had, a cardiac arrest and a second one during the second surgery. That's the before part.

Now the after part. I can't proof it because it not based on scientific and medical facts or knowledge. But there is a huge difference since you talked to Detective Benson, the first time. And I think what ever you said the second time made a change inside her. Like she has made decision or a promise the first time you were there and talked to her. And is determined to keep her word. Because there is no logical explanation for what happened when her heart rate and pressure went up and we couldn't get it down, yet you come back in the room talk to her and within 30 seconds both are back to normal. And stays that way. Because the two times it went a bit higher you talked to her and it went back to normal. And given everything she went through before those times, for me they don't really count. To go back to Dr. Patton's expectations, I disagree with him for the after part too. I know we have to be careful and I can't give guarantees. But somehow I am convinced Detective Benson will make it. She will stay alive I mean with that. It's too soon to tell if she's gonna recover from all her injuries 100%. And I don't think I have to tell you anything about the mental recovery given both your profession and Detective Benson's.

I want to change something. I want to pull her out of her coma and put her on a lighter sedative. And see how she will react on that. She will be unconscious but less then she is now. I want to start with that if she stays stable for the next four hours. And if her condition stays this way or improves I want to keep her like that for the next 2 days starting from the moment she will be on a lighter sedative. I know it is a lot to take in, so take your time to process everything I just told you." Nathalie explains.

Alex is silent for a minute, processing everything that Nathalie said. And then she is ready to continue their conversation.

"I can see what you mean with before and after. And I think I have a explanation for it. Liv is very protective about me. We care a lot about each other and I'm protective about her too. But she protects me all the time, sometimes she's not even aware of it. I know without a doubt that there is nothing she won't do for me. She will protect me and defend me at all costs. No matter what the price is she pays for it. That's why there has been a change inside her. Somehow she knows I'm at her side. Even in a drug induced coma she knows it. And that's why she keeps fighting. Because she wants to protect me, make me feel safe and be safe. She is also very stubborn and hard headed. That's an other part of why she is still alive. In our own way we do everything we can to protect each other and be there for each other.

And I'm telling you know that what ever her injuries are, if there is even the slightest chance she can recover from it 100%, she will. She will fight for it and I'll make sure she gets the best of the best to help her with it. In other words, you tell me what Doctors or Professors she needs. Get her the best there are in the world. What every therapist or therapy she needs and she will get the best there is. Money isn't a problem. As long as you get her the best, I don't care what it cost. But I have to warn you, she will be a royal pain in the ass from the moment she wakes up. Because she hates hospitals and she hates it even more to need to depend on others. She will argue every chance she gets and be stubborn as hell. You may need me more then you think right now. Because when it's comes to Liv and I, there are only two people who can change our minds. Liv and I. We probably will fight like cats and dogs at times, but nobody except the two of us can change our minds when we have it set on something. If you don't believe me ask Casey, our fights are legendary at the precinct and the DA's office. But everyone also knows not to mess with us if you know what's good for you. I don't say this to scare you or as a threat. Just want to warn you for what will come or happen. So you can prepare yourself for it. I know with what you just told me you are very good Prof. And I trust you professionally. So I trust you with the task to find the best for Liv." Alex finishes.

"I promise I will. But for now the first thing I'm going to do is get her on a lighter sedative in about four hours. We will go from their. She needs a few surgeries first before we even can think about recovering and therapy. If at the end of my shift Detective Benson is doing well without falling back, I will transfer her to ICU. I'll make sure that she'll stay my patient if she goes to ICU. And try to get some rest, Counselor." Nathalie smiles.

"Well to quote Liv, I have plenty time to rest when I'm dead. Seriously, I'm used to long days as well as you and she are. You don't really think that being an ADA for SVU is a 9 to 5 job do you? Because I can help you out of that dream real quick. Most of the times when she gets a call I get a call too. I promise to take some rest when I really need to, but under no condition do I leave Liv's side. The only time I will is when she is in surgery." Alex answers.

"Well I better get you something better then this chair then. Don't want to have my ass on the line when this one wakes up and finds out we haven't taken good care of you." Nathalie says smiling, pointing at Olivia.

"No you don't." Alex laughs.

"See you later, Alex." Nathalie says.

"Thank you for talking with me about Liv, Nathalie. See you later." Alex answers.

Nathalie nods and walks out of the room. Alex turns to Olivia.

"I tried to warn her, Liv. But I'm pretty sure she won't know what hits her when you wake up. And knowing you, probably sooner then she thinks. And even though I know you will be in a lot of pain, pain that I don't want you to have, I can't wait to see your eyes again, Detective. Just between you and me, I'm actually very fond of them." Alex says softly, holding Olivia's hand in her own.

**A/N I know this is not what y'all expected what Alex said to Olivia. But I think she is right about telling Olivia how she really feels about her when she is able to react on it. Even though it means that we have to wait for her to say it. Unless of course she really needs to say it like she said herself...**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Four hours later Nathalie was back to pull Olivia out of her drug induced coma and put her on lighter sedatives. After the Detective was on lighter sedatives Nathalie told Alex that she would come and check on Olivia every hour. And that if things changed, better or worse, that the blonde should call her. Now that Olivia was on the sedatives she didn't need all the machines anymore. She would stay on the heart monitor and the breathing tube would stay in too. And a morphine pomp would be added to control the pain the Detective would have. Nathalie told Alex she would send a nurse to take care of it. Alex said that she would call her if anything changes. After that Nathalie left the room and gives her orders to a nurse. About ten minutes later everything is set up and the nurse told Alex the same thing Nathalie had said. Call if anything changes. Alex agreed again and the nurse left the room. Leaving Alex and Olivia alone again. Alex looks at Olivia and even though the Detective's face is swollen and full of bruises, she still looked incredibly beautiful to the blonde ADA. She hoped that Olivia wouldn't be her usual stubborn self and stay unconscious for at least a day or maybe two. There was nothing that Alex wanted more than to look into those beautiful brown eyes, but she knows that it's for the best if Olivia doesn't wake up soon. That for Olivia it's the best. She wouldn't feel the pain she certainly will have once she is awake. So for the Detective sake Alex hopes she stays like this and at the same time she hopes for herself that she will be looking in her eyes soon.

An hour later Nathalie is back and checks Olivia. Everything seems alright. Her vitals are stable and on a normal level. And two minutes after she came in the Prof. leaves again. After checking on the Detective for four times she gets more convinced that Olivia will make it. But she also knows that it's gonna be a long, hard, difficult and painful road before the strong Detective recoveres from her injuries. Seeing how well Olivia is doing she decides to take her of the breathing machine. Her saturation is very good. Even better than she expected. And since she is stable for 24 hours Nathalie thinks it's safe to take her off.

"Detective Benson is doing really well, Alex. Her vitals are stable and on a normal level for the past 24 hours and her saturation is also very good. So I give you two options to choose from. I think it's safe for Detective Benson to take the breathing tube out, but if I'm gonna do that I want to keep her here at the CCU. To keep a close look at her. The other option is to hold Detective Benson on the breathing machine but to take her to the ICU, on the same conditions we have talked about earlier. And not earlier then at the end of my shift. I'm more convinced than I already was that she is gonna make it. So I truly think that it's safe to take her off it. The heart monitor will stay. I don't take her off it until she is awake, which will take a couple of days. I take her off the sedatives if she continues with the progress she is making now, in two days. So do you agree and want to take her of the breathing machine or do you want the Detective stay on it and transferred to ICU at the end of my shift?" Nathalie asks.

"I'd rather have her here of the breathing tube. Besides it's what Liv wants. If she would be awake, she would demand to take the damn tube out of her throat." Alex answers.

"Alright we get it out then. I'll call a nurse to take it out. The same rules apply. I'm free for 8 hours, after that I'm on a regular shift. I will start looking for the best surgeons to perform the necessary operations then." Nathalie answers.

"That would be great. Thank you, Nathalie. I assume you come and check on Liv every hour till your shift is over?" Alex asks.

"No need to thank me, Alex. Detective Benson is one hell of a fighter. Everyone deserves the best, but she certainly deserves it. So far she did what nobody else has done. And I will do everything I can to help her with her recovery. And to answer your question, yes I'll be back in an hour." Nathalie answers.

"See you in an hour then." Alex says.

Nathalie nods and walks out of Olivia's room. A few minutes later a nurse is walking into the Detective's room and explains to Alex what the procedure is for removing the breathing tube and asks the ADA if she wants to stay or leave the room for a moment. Alex answers that she wants to stay. That the only time she will leave the Detective's side is when she is in the OR. The nurse smiles at the blonde's answers and removes the tube. She takes the machine with her when she walks out of the room. Alex sits down in her chair again and takes Olivia's hand in her own.

"I'm so proud of you, Liv. You are doing so well. For once I'm glad that you are so stubborn and hard headed. That you keep fighting. Don't get me wrong, I'm always proud of you when you fight for our victims. To get justice for them. But you can't get me prouder than I'm with you right now. I can't wait to see those beautiful brown eyes of you, looking at me. I know that it's better for you to stay like this for a few days, but I miss you. I miss talking with you. I miss your eyes looking at me. But I don't want you in more pain than you will have when you're awake. So much for a top notch attorney huh? Hard ass Cabot having troubles to make up her mind and take a decision. I know you wouldn't let the opportunity pass to tease me with it if you were awake. So it's a good thing that you are not now. I would never hear the end of it. Besides you will be a real pain in the ass once you're awake. Not that I would like to have it any other way. Even though you drive me up against the wall many times, I don't want you to change that. It's a part of the Badass Benson that I like so much." Alex says.

"Well it's a good thing you like it, Counselor. Because I'm awake." Olivia says with a raspy voice.

Alex jerks up her head and looks into clear brown eyes. Stormy blue eyes looks shocked into the brown ones of a indeed clearly awake Detective.

"Liv, you're awake. How? What did you hear? Do need the Prof.? How do you feel? I'm so happy that you're awake." Alex rambles.

"Like I got beaten up twice." Olivia deadpans.

"Yeah well that's because you were. You must be in an awful lot of pain. Do you want something for it? Let me call Nathalie, the Prof. that's treating you." Alex says.

"Are you ok, Lex? I'm sorry for scaring you so much. I'll kick my ass when I'm able to do it. I never meant to scare you. I don't want you to be scared or afraid because of me." Olivia asks.

"You're the one that's been beaten up, badly I might add. And you asks if I'm ok? And you didn't answer my question. But first I need to call Nathalie. She won't believe me when I tell her that you are awake." Alex answers, standing up from her chair.

"I'll be right back. Don't worry." Alex says.

"Alex, I don't need the damn Prof., all she wants to do is pump some drugs into my system that I don't want. I'm fine. Really." Olivia says.

"Sorry, Liv, but I need to. I promised that I would call if something changed. I know you hate meds. And you're not fine. You have more bones broken in your body then I can count on one hand, probably two. So don't try the tough cop persona with me.

You have nothing to be sorry for. I care for you, Olivia. A lot. And I want to have you around for quite some years, so you need pain meds to keep the pain under control. You're not less stronger if you use them. You always will be Badass Benson, no matter what. And now I really go get Nathalie." Alex says softly.

"I care a lot for you too, Alex. And I'm not planning to leave you anytime soon. Just so you know. Is Casey still in the next room?" Olivia asks.

Alex blinks with her eyes a few times. 'How much did Olivia hear while being unconscious? Leave it to the Detective to be able to remember that, and God knows what else they have said.' Alex thinks, shaking her head.

"Yes, Casey is in the next room, only leaving it when she needs to go the courthouse. And I know what you are trying to do, Detective. It's not gonna work. I'll be right back." Alex answers walking out the door.

Two minutes later the blonde ADA is back and takes her seat next to Olivia waiting for Nathalie to come inside. She smirks at the brunette. Olivia knows that the Prof. doesn't believe Alex. And probably thinks that the younger blonde next to her is crazy.

'Boy, will she be surprised when she walks into the room' Olivia thinks, smiling back at Alex. For as far as she can.

One minute later Prof. Nathalie Diando walks into Olivia's room. She stands frozen and her jaw hits the floor when she sees Olivia. The shock and surprise clearly on her face.

**A/N I'm sorry that this is a very short chapter. But I thought I kept y'all waiting for so long that it's better than nothing at all. **

**I do realize that it looks like nothing is wrong with Olivia while she is brutally attacked and had two serious surgeries. I can assure you that it's not like that at all. That will be clear in the coming chapters.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N I've been really sick and wasn't able to write at all. So I'm sorry for the delay of this new chapter. I hope I'll be able to write more normal from now on. **

**I want to thank you all for all the reviews I'm getting. They really make me feel special. I always look forward receiving them. And there a few of you whom are really loyal and always write a review. So a special thanks to those that are such loyal fans and reviewers.**

**I would like to say a few words as a respond to one of the reviews though: I never said that Olivia was alone in the precinct. Everyone knows that a precinct is never empty. However, how many times have we seen Olivia or an other Detective alone in the squad room at night. So it is possible for her to be there alone. And as realistic as I try to write my stories there is always fiction in it. **

**I also want to thank my beta reader for doing such a great job. Thanks Tummer22, you're awesome gal.**

**Alright I won't keep y'all from reading the next chapter. :D**

Chapter 10

Nathalie needed a few seconds to collect her jaw from the floor and to walk further into Olivia's room.

"Detective Benson, you sure know how to surprise people. I'm Prof. Nathalie Diando. You may call me Nathalie. I'm the Prof. who's treating you. How do you feel?" Nathalie asks.

"Like I'm beaten up twice. Other then that I'm fine." Olivia answers.

"Ah another tough cop I see. Well I can tell you this, you have so many bones broken in your body that you are far from fine, Detective. Alright, I need to check your body. Alex, if you could step outside for a moment, I can check the Detective here." Nathalie says.

Olivia looks panicked from Nathalie to Alex and back to the Prof. and the color drains out of her face.

"NO." Olivia yells.

"Alex is not leaving. And I don't need an examination. I told you I'm fine." Olivia says softly.

Olivia tries to get herself up and leave the bed but as soon as she moves she almost cries out from the pain. She can hold it back and sets her jaw, but Alex sees that she is trying to hide the pain she's in.

"Lay back Liv, you're gonna hurt yourself you need more surgeries to set some broken bones. Don't make it worse by trying to get out of your bed." Alex says softly.

Olivia lays back against the pillow. But it's clear that she would leave her bed if she could do it. She looks pleadingly at Alex. The blonde attorney knows that something is bothering Olivia and she knows that the Detective won't talk with Nathalie in her room. So she turns to the Prof.

"Nathalie, could you wait outside for a moment? I need to talk with Liv, alone." Alex asks friendly.

"Yes, of course. I'll be waiting outside the door." Nathalie answers.

The Prof. nods at Olivia and turns around to walk out of the room, closing the door behind her. Alex turns to Olivia and takes her hand in her own.

"What's wrong, Liv? I know that something is not alright." Alex asks.

"I'm fine, Alex. Yes it hurts more to move than I thought. But I'm fine." Olivia answers.

"You know for a Detective you are not acting very smart. I know that something is wrong. I saw the way you set your jaw that you are in more pain than you want to admit. But I also know that is not the reason why you don't want to be examined. You know you can tell me anything, Liv. I'm staying here right beside you no matter what. No one will make me leave your side. Except for the OR. I promise you that. Now, what is it that you are afraid of?" Alex asks gently.

Olivia turns her head away. Not wanting for Alex to see the tears in her eyes.

"Liv, look at me, please. What is wrong, sweety?" Alex asks softly.

Olivia hesitates for a moment before turning her head back and looks at Alex.

"I... I don't want her to touch me, Alex. I don't want anyone touching me." Olivia whispers, lowering her head.

Alex's heart breaks seeing the strong Detective being so afraid. She knows exactly why Olivia doesn't want anyone to touch her. And she hates it that Nathalie has to do it. She wishes that she could protect Olivia for the emotional pain.

"I know, Liv. I know why you don't want anyone touching your body. And I hate it but Nathalie has to do it. I also know that you don't want me to see your body. That you are afraid of losing me if I do. But you won't lose me, Liv. Even if I would know the details of what happened to you, you won't lose me. I know that you are convinced that you will. But I promise you. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, can scare me or disgust me so much that I would leave you. That being said, do you want me to call Casey so that she can stay with you while Nathalie looks at you or do you want me to stay? What ever you choose, I won't be offended. I understand it if you prefer Casey to stay here for this." Alex asks.

"You promise you won't leave me, and our friendship? Because I won't survive it if I lose you again." Olivia asks with a small voice.

"I promise you, Olivia Benson, that I won't leave you. I won't survive it neither if I lose you again. I almost lost you again the past few days and it scared me like hell. I was so afraid, Liv I promise you I won't leave this hospital unless you are leaving too." Alex answers sincerely.

Olivia looks shocked at Alex's confession. She knows that the blonde ADA means every word she just said. And she has a feeling that Alex cares more for her than she thought.

"I trust you, Alex. And I care for you a lot. More than you'll ever know. I know that you won't break a promise that you make. And even though I'm scared like hell that you will leave if you see me like this or know everything, I need to trust you with this too. No matter how hard it will be for you to see my body, I want you to stay with me. I need you now more than ever. Although I will deny that I've said this if anyone ever asks." Olivia answers softly.

"Don't worry about that. Nobody will ever know. Besides I need you as much as you need me. And yes, I will deny it too should anyone ever ask." Alex answers with a smile.

Olivia tries to take a breath as deep as possible.

"Alright, get her back inside but promise me you make her stop if it gets too much and I can't do it myself." Olivia says.

"I will but you can do this I know you can." Alex answers.

"I'm not but let's get over with this the sooner she's done and gone the better it is." Olivia says.

Alex squeezes Olivia's hand and stands up. Kissing the brunette on her forehead before she walks to the door and asks Nathalie to come back inside. Alex walks back to her chair and sits down. Nathalie closes the door behind her and walks to Olivia's bed.

"Are you ready, Detective? I can't promise it won't hurt, but I'll try to be as gentle as I can be." Nathalie asks.

"Just do it and get over with it and just so you know it, Alex stays!" Olivia answers.

Nathalie looks at Alex and the blonde shakes her head Nathalie senses that Olivia isn't comfortable at all and decides to let it go. There is no need to upset the brunette more than she already is.

"Alright, Alex may stay but I have to warn you, Alex, it's not a nice view. Detective Benson's body is looking as badly as it is. You might want to leave after you've seen it." Nathalie says.

"Let me make this clear to you nothing and nobody can make me leave this room unless Olivia asks for it. Try me and you'll find out what I'm capable of and I don't mean this as a treat just simply stating a fact, nothing personal either. I don't care how bad it looks, or what it is you have to do as long as it doesn't harm Olivia, I'm fine with it." Alex says protectively.

"I understand it and I know this isn't personal you're just trying to protect Detective Benson the best you can. I know you want what's best for her now that's out of the way, I'll start to check you, Detective." Nathalie answers.

As soon as Nathalie pulls away the blanket Olivia searches for Alex hand, Alex looks at Olivia and squeezes her hand encouraging. Olivia tries to relax the best she can but stiffens immediately when Nathalie starts touching her. She squeezes Alex's hand hard as she tries to keep herself together. Nathalie feels the Detective stiffen when she starts to check her and tries to work as fast as she can knowing this must be awful for Olivia. To be touched after being attacked so badly. Half way trough the examination Olivia looks at Alex pleadingly, tears running over her cheeks. Alex sees that Olivia is about to break and decides that it's enough Nathalie has to continue to check Olivia later.

"Lex, please." Olivia whispers.

Alex nods at Olivia and squeezes her hand softly letting the brunette know it is over for now.

"Nathalie, you need to stop now you can finish your examination later but for now it's over." Alex says.

Nathalie pulls away her hands away and looks at Olivia and then at Alex she sees how hard Olivia tries to keep it together and the determination on Alex face.

"I know this is hard, but I have to do it, I'm sorry." Nathalie answers carefully.

But not carefully enough for Alex, the blonde attorney gives the poor Prof. one of her infamous glares while answering to her.

"And I'm saying your are done! I don't know how many victims of assault and or rape you have treated and I don't really care to be honest. But I have seen and worked with them for roughly 7 years and I know the impact this has on Liv. How this feels like being violated again, Liv is the strongest person I know but she'd have enough. I'm very proud of her that she managed it to handle it so far. I will not allow you to continue and break her down. And if you think you can continue your examination now, you don't know how hard this is. And you certainly have no clue what you are talking about. You give her a break for an hour and then you can go back to check her if she thinks she can handle it. As long as there is no direct threat against her life, you won't go further now. And I don't care if I'm unreasonable or hard I only care for Olivia's well being. Physically and mentally." Alex says with her courtroom voice, pulling down the gown and then pulling back the blanket over Olivia's body.

Nathalie flinched at the look and voice Alex is giving her, she looks at Olivia's heart monitor and sees that Olivia's heartbeat is slowly climbing. Knowing that keeping the Detective's heartbeat down is more important then finishing the examination right now. Nathalie doesn't look back Alex who is still glaring at her and looks at Olivia.

"I'll stop for now and come back in an hour to finish my examination it won't take much time to finish, I promise. Since you are awake I will transfer you to ICU after that, you will stay my patient. We will discus your injuries and what you need when I'm back I'm truly sorry for needing to do this, Detective." Nathalie says.

Olivia can only nod at Nathalie, afraid she will break down in front of her if she speaks, it's bad enough that Alex will think she is weak. It won't happen in front of the Prof. if she can prevent it, at least that's how Olivia looks at it. Nathalie nods at Olivia and walks out of the room and closes the door behind her.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N I'm sorry for keep y'all waiting for so long. As I mentioned in my other stories my beta reader got sick and so we got behind with beta reading all the chapters I've written. Therefore this chapter is posted without being corrected after beta reading. The chapter is currently with my beta reader and will be corrected afterwards for errors if necessary. **

**Sorry for the short chapter but I think y'all forgive when you're finished reading it...**

Chapter 11

Olivia turns her head away from Alex ashamed of being so weak. That's how the Detective sees it. She heard what the blonde ADA had said. That she was proud of Olivia that she had managed to come some far. But in Olivia's eyes she was weak because she couldn't finish the exam. If it was possible she would have turned onto her side but since that isn't an option she does the only thing she can do and that is turning her head away. Besides feeling weak she felt dirty again. The touch of the Prof. how professional it may have been was triggering the strong Detective. She needed to fight to don't have a flashback. She tries to stop the tears from coming but it's helpless and soon the tears are flowing over Olivia's cheeks. Images of what happened that night going through her mind. Even though Olivia is quiet and her body doesn't move Alex knows the Detective is crying and it breaks the younger woman's heart. To see her best friend so miserable and in pain. She curses Prentiss for what he did to her. And she starts thinking that maybe it is better that Casey tries the case because right now Alex doesn't know if she can stay professional as she sees the Detective like this. She knows why she got the title Ice Princess but right now Alex doesn't feel like the hard ass top notch attorney she usually is.

"Liv, is it alright if I just hold you? You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." Alex asks hesitatingly.

Olivia turns her head back to Alex expecting to see pity and disgust in Alex's eyes but all she sees is caring and love in the now stormy blue eyes.

"I would love it if you could hold me in your arms. It makes me feel safe." Olivia whispers.

Carefully and slowly Olivia moves a bit so that Alex can sit on her bed. Alex stands up and carefully climbs on the bed gently pulling Olivia into her arms. Olivia leans back against the blonde's body even though it hurts a bit to stay in this position the Detective doesn't want it differently. Alex feels Olivia relaxing against her body and the tension in the Detective's body slowly disappears.

"Did you really mean what you said to the Prof. that you are proud of me?" Olivia asks softly.

Alex kisses the top of Olivia's head briefly before she answers the Detective's question.

"Yes, I'm really proud of you Liv. You've been trough so much and still you allowed Nathalie to examine you. I could see that you really didn't want her to but you did it. And that makes me so proud of you. To me it shows how strong you really are I know that you don't see it that way but that's what it is, what you are to me. You fought to stay alive, to come back to me. Something that nobody with similar injuries ever managed to do and you did it. Every time they lost you, I lost you, every time you came back. And to be completely honest, I don't know what I would have done if I would have lost you. It would have destroyed me that I do know. And I do what ever I can to protect you. I'm here for you Liv. I won't go anywhere I promise." Alex answers.

"I heard what you said to me, I remember it. When you whispered in my ear. I always will protect you the best I can, Lex. I always want you to feel safe and be safe. But what I don't get is that you want to stay here with me. Why Lex? Why do you want to stay here with me?" Olivia asks.

Alex takes a deep breath. She hasn't expect that she would tell Olivia what she feels for the brunette so soon but the blonde knows she has to be honest to Olivia. So Alex decides that now is the time to put her heart on the table so to speak and hopes that Olivia won't crush it.

"I thought I would have more time to tell you this but you deserve the truth and I want to be honest with you at all times. So here goes nothing. Because I love you Olivia Benson. That's why." Alex answers softly.

Olivia can't believe what she's hearing. Silently asking herself if she finally got crazy. Surely she couldn't have heard that right.

"You...love me? As in really love me?" Olivia asks shocked.

"Yes I do. I have loved you for quite some time to be honest." Alex answers.

"You can't love me. Look at me Alex! I have more broken bones than I can I have fingers to count. I've been raped multiple times I'm dirty. Even Munch looks better than I am right now. I'm damaged more than I already was. I'm broken and weak. I'm a Detective for heaven's sake and I even couldn't defend myself. How could you possible love me as I'm in love with you? Sure as my best friend I can understand that somehow I think but you deserve so much more and better than me. I'm the product of a rape and had an abusive alcoholic mother, I'm just a blue collar cop and I'm a woman. Now after what happened the circle is closed there is nothing good left. No person in their right mind can want me and I can't blame them." Olivia says, with her head down.

"I don't care what other people should or not should do. I don't care if I'm gonna stay an ADA for SVU for the rest of my career I would love to stay an ADA for SVU as long as you are being there. Yes I wanted that chair for a long time but that changed and I'm changed. After Witsec that is not longer what it is important to me. That's what you meant with being a woman. You're not just a blue collar cop Olivia, you're a decorated Detective and the best the NYPD has if you ask me. To me you are beautiful always has been and always will be. As for the rest you know how I think about that. I don't give a damn about all of it because to me it doesn't change who you are or what you are in fact it made you who you are the woman who I love. Yes I hate what happened to you and I will be there for you the best I can because no matter what you're not alone in this. What is important to me is if you love me like I love you. I need to know that. Do you love me, Liv? Or is have I poured out my heart for nothing?" Alex asks.

Alex is afraid that Olivia will say no and break her heart but if the Detective loves her too she is determined to stay at her side and be there for her, trying to help her heal and pursue a relationship with the Detective when she is ready for it. Alex turns her head so she can look in her eyes. Needing to see her when she answers the million dollar question. When stormy blue eyes connects with dark brown ones Olivia can see that blonde means what she says. She clearly sees the love and determination in her eyes but the Detective also sees a spark of fear, afraid of getting rejected.

"Yes I love you Lex. I have loved for a very long time too. But..." Olivia starts to answer when she is interrupted by Alex.

"No buts Olivia. Knowing that you love me too is all I need to know, all I need or needed to hear. I know you're not ready to pursue a relationship and that's ok I can and will wait until you are ready. You loving me too is all that matters." Alex says.

"That's where you are partly wrong, Counselor. I'm not ready nor capable for a physical relationship and I won't be for a long time probably. And I know that it's gonna be a long road to recover physically and mentally but I do want to start a relationship with you. I just need things to go slowly, I need you to chase or stop me when I run or want to run and to be patient. I've waited and wanted you for too long, I can't and don't want to wait any longer." Olivia says softly.

"Everything you want or need you can get it. We will get you back on your feet Liv, literally and figuratively. We'll go as slow or fast as you need or want us to go. You don't have to worry about that because all I want or need I'm holding in my arms right now. As long as I'm able to do that I'm happy." Alex says softly.

**A/N2 I know the road to get there will be hard for the both of them but now they have each other and their love to get past every obstacle they will be facing.**

**As always please R+R. I'm addicted to them I think and if not me I'm afraid my muse is for sure.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Warning: This chapter has specific details of violence. **

**A/N I can't say where it will be this time, like I usually do, without giving away details of this chapter. I know this can be hard or confronting for some of you, that's why I give the warning. **

Chapter 12. The day after Olivia wakes up.

Nathalie decided to transfer Olivia to ICU this morning since Olivia was improving well. She had found a Prof. in California that was the best surgeon for the kind of injuries Olivia has. She also had found out that when Olivia was brought into the hospital they didn't finish taking X-rays because they were fighting to keep the Detective alive. So she'd ordered to take X-rays of Olivia's entire body. The results are shocking. Besides the fractures they'd already discovered it turned out that Olivia had broken her sternum and her left clavicle, her pelvis was broken badly. It is a miracle she didn't have fractures in her spine or that she was able to move her lower body at all. After finding that out Nathalie had ordered MRI scans for her internal organs and an echo. Her spleen had cost internal bleeding earlier so it was smaller after the surgery she'd had. But the scan and echo showed sever trauma at her uterus and Nathalie knew Olivia would never be able to give birth of a child and it was a risk to let it stay inside, so she decided to remove her uterus later today or early the next morning when the Prof. from California was there to perform the first surgery. It depended if the Prof. would be there in time or not. He was scheduled to land at La Guardia in the late afternoon.

Nathalie was shocked that the Detective was able to stay awake and not pass out because of the pain she was in. But she had found it out the hard way that Olivia was the most stubborn and hard headed person she'd ever met. The Prof. knows now that Olivia would still say that she was fine when she was about to pass out. The only ones that seems to be able to read the Detective were Alex and Casey, the blonde more than the redhead. Alex and Casey both were with Olivia when Nathalie came back with the results. Nathalie explained everything and answered the 1000 questions Alex fires at her. Wanting to know everything to the last bit or part. She'd smiled internally at all the questions the blonde ADA had asked her. It was clear to the young Prof. that what the two women in front of her have is rare, they connect on such a high level that this was more than true love, it was clear to her that without the other neither woman would survive or stay alive. They would die on the inside should they lose the other and she wouldn't be surprised if they actually would die within days after the other. Nathalie had just left the room and the three women were alone in Olivia's room now.

Casey knows she has to take Olivia's statement today she is not able to hold it off much longer and with the upcoming surgery or surgeries she knows that she has no other choice there is simply no other possibility to take the Detective's statement then today.

"You know I never wanted children of my own but now that they gonna take my uterus away I feel kinda depressed." Olivia says.

"You knew that if you would change your mind that you had the chance to get pregnant now that choice will be taken away from you. It's ok to feel depressed about that, Olivia." Casey says.

"Yeah but it's not like I would change my mind of having children of my own. So there is not really a choice that's taken away from me now." Olivia answers.

"Does it make you feel less woman? Do you think that you're less to me now that they are going to take your uterus away?" Alex asks softly.

Olivia thinks about what the blonde asks for a moment.

"No, yes, maybe. I don't know. I don't think it makes me feel less towards you. Maybe it does make me feel less woman. I'm not sure about that." Olivia answers confused.

"It doesn't really matter, the reason why I mean. What matters is that it's not your choice to take it away. But it doesn't change what you mean to me. Not one single bit. You're still the same amazing, strong, caring and beautiful woman you always are." Alex says sincerely.

"Thank you, Lex. It means a lot to me even though I don't think about that the same way." Olivia says softly.

Casey takes a deep breath before she speaks again.

"I hate it that I have to do this but I don't have a choice. I need to take your statement, today, Liv. I wish I could postpone it but I can't and since you going to have surgeries starting today or tomorrow morning I have to do it now. I'm sorry, Liv." Casey says.

"I know you have too, Casey. I also know that if it were possible you would've waited. Don't be sorry, it's out of your hands." Olivia says.

Casey looks briefly at Alex before she looks back at Olivia.

"Unless she wants to leave herself Alex stays, Casey. I probably need her in the courtroom, I can't handle that on my own. And I don't want her to find out what happened then. I'm still afraid I'll lose her but I realize that's the gamble I need to take. She already saw my body and she's still here that gives me a little bit of hope." Olivia says softly, looking at the blonde attorney.

Alex smiles at Olivia and squeezes her hand gently. She knows that it's more than just a gamble to Olivia even though the Detective wants make her and maybe Casey to believe otherwise. Alex knows that right at this moment the Detective is laying her trust and heart in the ADA's hand. That this the moment that she can make or break the strong brunette. Not that there is even one fiber in the younger woman's body that wants to break her ever.

"We'll go at your pace, Liv. I know this must be extremely hard for you to do. We have to do it today and before the end of the afternoon if nothing changes but that's the only restriction we have." Alex says softly.

Olivia nods and prepares herself for what's coming the best she can.

"Can you come and sit with me, Lex?" Olivia asks softly.

Alex nods and carefully climbs on the bed. She knows it's not the wised thing to do but right now the blonde doesn't care about that, Olivia needs her and she's doing everything within her power to make that happen. When Alex is settled Olivia leans back at the blonde attorney and Alex put her arms carefully around the Detective. Casey has taken her legal pad out of her briefcase and a pen.

"Are you ready, Liv?" Casey ask gently.

"As ready as I'm gonna be." Olivia answers.

"Alright, I'll start questioning and we'll go from there. If you need a break just say it, alright?" Casey asks.

"Yes." Olivia answers.

"Ok. Let's start with at the beginning. Tell me what happened first." Casey says.

"Fin and Munch were running errands and would go home if they turned up with nothing when the Captain offered us to go home and come back in the morning. Nick accepted the offer because his daughter was home. Amanda said that she was continuing with working on this case and was gonna run some errands herself. I told him I was gonna call Alex and see if we could meet and give her an update on the case. I didn't mention that I was going to work as long as it would take, it wasn't necessary he already knew I wasn't gonna take a break until we would catch the bastard. Around 7.15 pm Amanda left to run some errands and the Captain left with her to go home. If we would find something we would call him and then he came back to the precinct right away. Prentiss kept an eye on the precinct I think because after Amanda and the Captain left I went to the toilet, planning to finish the paper I was working on and then leave to pick up some food on my way to Alex. But as soon as I left the bathroom I was hit against my head with something, hard." Olivia says.

"What happened next? Do you know what it was he hit you with?" Casey asks, looking up from her legal pad where she is writing down what Olivia says.

"A baseball bat. As soon as I looked up he hit me on the other side of my head with it and broke my other cheekbone. Before I could react he hit me again in my stomach and torso. I fell on the floor and he dragged me back into the bathroom. When we were in the bathroom he spoke up for the first time. He said that now the party could get started then he hit me two more times with the bat before he threw it aside took my handcuffs and chained me to the radiator." Olivia answers.

Both Alex and Casey gasp when Olivia finishes her answer. The asshole had done a real number on her by then and they know it only went worse after that. They continued like this, Casey asking questions and Olivia answering them for about an hour. They now are halfway trough Olivia's statement and the Detective really needs a break.

"Alright, we'll take a break for half an hour and then we continue with your statement. You're doing great, Liv. I'm proud of you." Casey says softly.

Olivia nods before she buries her head into Alex's shoulder. Alex just hold Olivia and whispers sweet nothings in her ear. It took 10 minutes for the Detective to calm down and she knew that the hardest part has yet to come. She stays lying against Alex knowing that when she starts telling about Prentiss raping her and how he did she won't be able to do it anymore. The only thing she hopes is that she feels comfortable enough to let Alex touch her to comfort her. Although she knows that it's more likely that she can't stand it. And probably can't for a long time. The Detective has troubles with it already but somehow she manages to not flinch or pull back now, and once everything is out in the open she knows she is to vulnerable and not able to hide it or allow it. She hopes that Alex will understand it and can give her the time she needs before she will be comfortable again with getting touched. Yes the blonde ADA works the same cases as she does and that she understands it from her experience with victims but it's something else when it's someone you love or your partner. And it doesn't matter how long or short you are in a relationship or how long you know each other before you were attacked.

After the time they had agreed to take a break has past Casey carefully tells Olivia that it's time to continue. Olivia nods at Casey and turns to Alex.

"It's not personal I promise but could take a seat in the chair please?" Olivia asks softly almost whispers.

Both Alex and Casey see where Olivia is coming from. And Alex is thankful for being an ADA for SVU so long. She understands why Olivia asks it, having interviewed many victims she knows it's difficult to be held in someone's arms. She is glad and proud of Olivia that the Detective has the courage to ask her it.

"Yes of course I can. I know it's not personal, Liv. Don't worry about that. I'll do what ever it is that you need me to do. Anything that helps you or could make things just a bit easier." Alex answers softly.

After giving her answer Alex carefully climbs of Olivia's bed and takes a seat in the chair again. She lays down her hand on the Detective's bed but is careful not to touch her. She just lays it there for Olivia to take when she needs it. Olivia knows what Alex means with her gesture and gives the blonde a small smile, letting her know that she understands what the attorney means. She turns back to Casey and they are continuing with Olivia's statement. The more Olivia tells the more Alex and Casey get angry on the inside.

"You're doing good, Liv. You told me that he just stopped beating you and said that he needed to look at his work for a moment. Can you tell me what happened next?" Casey asks, carefully keeping the anger out of her voice.

Involuntarily Olivia shivers as she tries to keep herself from getting a flashback when she thinks back at what happened after he stopped beating her. She tries to control her breathing which is difficult enough without broken ribs. Casey gives Olivia a few moments to collect herself seeing that the Detective is fighting against having a flashback. The redhead ADA is at the point of stopping with the brunette's statement when Alex speaks up.

"Keep breathing, Liv. Take a breath as deep as you can and hold it for a few seconds then breath out again." Alex says softly.

Olivia does what Alex tells her and the blonde keeps talking to her with a calm and soothing voice. Together they slowly manage to get Olivia's breathing back to normal. After a few minutes since Casey asked Olivia what happened next and Olivia fought against a flashback they continue again. By the time they are almost done Alex and Casey are shocked and utterly horrified with what Olivia went trough. They needed to stop once because Olivia had a flashback and it wasn't easy for Alex to get the Detective out of it. The moment Alex touched Olivia she would flinch and pull back and Alex had to talk her out of it without touching the Detective. Alex and Casey wanted to stop after the first time Olivia had a flashback but the brunette wouldn't hear of it. Olivia had put her heels in the sand and said that she needed to tell it when she was on the stand without having flashbacks so she had to do it now with them. They almost got into a fight about it so when it almost happened a second time the ADA's didn't even try to talk Olivia into stopping. It breaks Alex's heart to see Olivia struggle so much to see the pain the Detective is in emotionally as well physically. Casey isn't doing much better. Both women struggle to keep their emotions inside themselves. They both may be top-notch ADA's but to see their friend and now girlfriend like this is tearing them apart.

"I already have Alex's statement and with that what happened from the moment she came into the precinct and bathroom but I need to hear it from you as well. After that we are done I promise. So what happened when Alex came into the bathroom after she arrived at the precinct?" Casey asks softly.

"I saw the door opened and hear Alex asking if I was inside. Then Alex came inside and saw me cuffed to the radiator and she ran to me asking me what happened. I didn't answer her question but asked her if she had seen anybody in the squad room. Alex answered that she hadn't seen anyone and asked me what happened again. I told her to go to my desk and get my gun out of the upper drawer on the left and come back as soon as she could that I would explain it later. Alex ran out of the bathroom and came back, about 20 second later I think, with my gun. She asked me softly if I could tell her what the hell was going on. I told her to call 911 for back up and then go into the stall of the bathroom and to stay there till back up was there or me telling her that she could come out. I told her that Prentiss was in the building and that he went downstairs to go eat something but that he would be back soon. Alex pleaded that she'd take off my handcuffs first and asked me where my keys were. I almost begged her to go into the stall and to stay there. That I couldn't protect her like I normally can but that I had my gun now and that he didn't know that. That I didn't want her to get hurt and asked her to do it for me. Alex said that she would do it for me. She called 911 and asked for backup and an Ambulance and went into the stall. I think it was a minute or 2, something like that, after Alex was in the stall that Prentiss came back. He said... he said that dinner was nice but that it was time for his dessert. He started to kick me again, hard, I felt and heard my ribs breaking. It hurt so badly... I bit on my lip not wanting to make a sound and make it any harder for Alex to stay in the stall then it already was for her. It was the only way to protect her... I didn't want Prentiss to know that Alex was hiding in the stall. So even though it was really hard I kept my mouth shut. I couldn't... I couldn't bear the thought of him...of him going after Alex." Olivia chokes out, tears streaming down her cheeks again.

Even now the thought of Prentiss going after Alex was too much and Olivia needs a few moments to somehow collect herself a bit again before she can continue.

"Then he went to kick in the direction of my head but I managed to pull my head aside and he ended up kicking me into my left shoulder, hard. He was furious that I managed to pull my head away so he kicked me against my left arm twice and slammed my wrist against the radiator the second time he kicked. After that he went back to kick me against my torso again. I dropped my gun when he kicked me against my shoulder but thank God he didn't hear it. He kicked for a few minutes and when I thought I couldn't take it anymore and couldn't keep silent he stepped back like he was done. He looked at me... he looked at me with the same nauseous making smile he did the first time when he started raping me. And I knew I had to do something and do it fast. I didn't know how long it would take before back up showed up so I searched on the floor with my right hand and found my gun and quickly pulled of the safety and pointed it at him. I said to him to don't even think about it and to stay where he was standing or that I would shoot him. That was the moment that Amanda came in with her gun raised. She shouted at him to put his hands behind his head and get down on his knees. He did what she told him to do immediately and Amanda cuffed him and dragged him out of the bathroom. She told me she would be right back just before she walked away. I knew it was over then and called Alex to come to me and get the damn handcuffs of. Alex came out of the stall and walked towards me. I told her that the keys were in the right pocket of my slacks. Alex reached into my right pocket slowly and carefully and took out the keys and got the cuffs off then she took off her coat and pulled it around me. Then the paramedics came inside with a stretcher I asked Alex if she would go with me to the hospital and she said that what ever I wanted or needed she would do. The rest you know." Olivia finishes.

After Olivia was finished and she was done writing, Casey closed her legal pad and put it back in her briefcase. The redhead told Olivia how proud she was at her for telling them what happened to her. To tell Alex what happened while she knew how hard that was for the Detective. Alex didn't say to Olivia how proud she was of Olivia she wants to do that when they are alone. They talked for a few more minutes before Casey said that she needed to talk with Alex for a few minutes, something technical about the up coming trial. Casey stayed in the room next to Olivia's just like she had done when the Detective was on CCU. With the same rules too. Olivia nodded at Casey and said that it was alright and then looked at Alex.

"Just come back as soon as you can Lex, ok?" Olivia asks softly.

"Of course I will. I don't want to be away from you any longer than necessary. Don't worry, I'll be in the room next to yours just like when you were at CCU." Alex answers.

Olivia gives a small smile and nods at Alex. The blonde smiles back before she and Casey leave the room and walk into the other room next to the Detective's room. Casey closes the door behind her before she turns to Alex.

"What am I going to do? Forget about her physical condition, there is no way that she will make it through her testimony without breaking down emotionally or having flashbacks. How the hell are we going to prevent that Liv needs to take the stand and testify?" Casey asks.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"_What am I going to do? Forget about her physical condition, there is no way that she will make it through her testimony without breaking down emotionally or having flashbacks. How the hell are we going to prevent that Liv needs to take the stand and testify?" Casey asks._

"Alright, slow down. One thing at the time. Who's the judge on the trial and who is defending the low life scum back?" Alex asks.

"Petrovsky got the trial. As for who is defending him I could give you 3 times to guess but you probably know it the first time." Casey answers.

"Of course, who else then Trevor 'weasel' Langen would take this case." Alex answers.

"Yup, the one and only." Casey says.

"Well it's not a bad thing Liz doesn't have this trial. Go to Liz and ask for a meeting with my uncle and herself. See if the three of you can come up with something that would help to prevent Liv testifying. If not we could be doomed. Trever is gonna file a motion for a speedy trial. If you don't put Liv on the witness list he certainly wants to. We both know that physically Liv can't testify in court so soon. So if you play it right and you're lucky, Petrovsky gives a choice instead of agree to both. Technically she could order Liv to testify in the hospital. But given the circumstances it's possible that she will make him choose." Alex says.

"Alright, I'll go and see if Liz is available. And let's hope it works out the way we want it." Casey says.

"Well if Petrovsky gives him a choice then at least we have some time to get Liv ready for testifying the best we can. She made it this far. And for the first time without counseling that was it could have gone worse." Alex says.

"Yeah you're right. I just wish that I could spare her for telling everything out in the open in court." Casey sighs.

"That makes two of us. But it's more likely that we don't get that lucky." Alex says.

"Alright, I'll come back as soon as I know more. Tell Liv that I'm doing the best I can." Casey says.

"I will. But she already knows that, Case." Alex says softly.

**Later that day.**

Casey, Liz and Alex's Uncle had been brainstorming for two hours inside Casey's office when Casey got the motion for a speedy trial and Olivia has been served to testify.

"I don't see how we can stop the defense to get Detective Benson testify in court. You said that Alexandra and you talked about this. Did she had a suggestion you can do something with?" Liz asks.

"Alex said that Trevor would file a motion for a speedy trial and that Olivia physically can't testify so soon in court. That if I didn't put her on the witness list he certainly wanted Olivia on the list. That if I played it right and was lucky Petrovsky would give him a choice instead of agreeing to both of it. Alex said is was possible she would let Olivia testify in the hospital but that given the circumstances it's also possible she would make him choose." Casey answers.

"That's my girl" Liz smiles.

"That's our Alexandra. Smart girl and besides she is right. If I were the Judge I would let him choose if you could make it hard. How about you Liz?" Bill asks.

"I would do the same. If you can make a good argument I would make him choose too." Liz answers.

"Well I guess I should call Petrovsky than and put my game face on." Casey says with a small smile on her lips.

**5 pm Chambers of Judge Lena Petrovsky.**

"Ms. Novak you asked for this meeting about the motions Mr. Langen here filed so I suggest you start." Petrovsky says.

"Yes your Honor. Mr. Langen wants to separate the case against his client in two trials, one for the felonies his client be will prosecuted for against Detective Benson the other for the felonies he will be prosecuted for against the two other victims. No objections to that your Honor. However, I would like to discuss both the motion for a speedy trial as well Detective Benson being served to testify at the same time since they are related to each other." Casey says.

"I can see why it's relevant so I agree. Please continue, Ms. Novak" Petrovsky says.

"Although I understand why Mr. Langen wants a speedy trial and Detective Benson to testify, it's physically impossible for Detective Benson to testify on such short terms. Here in court or elsewhere. Therefore, I think your Honor should let Mr. Langen choose between a speedy trial and Detective Benson testifying." Casey says.

"My client has the right for a speedy trial and I have the right to put Detective Benson on the stand, your Honor. My client deserves a fair trial." Trevor objects.

"Calm down. Mr. Langen. I haven't decided anything yet. Ms. Novak can say without a doubt that Detective Benson can't testify in a speedy trial? And if not could you make it clear to me why you think Detective Benson can't do that?" Petrovsky asks.

"Yes your Honor. I know without a doubt that Detective Benson physically can't make it to testify in a speedy trial. A speedy trial will start in a few days. Detective Benson needs several surgeries due to her trauma's. She will be in and out of surgery for the next couple of weeks at least. Surgeries that can not be postponed. Therefore, she will not be able to testify at all in those weeks. Should your Honor granted the motion for a speedy trial Detective Benson can't attend simply because she either will be in surgery or at CCU/ ICU. Because of that I ask your Honor to give Mr. Langen here the option to choose between a speedy trial or Detective Benson testifying. Which given the circumstances would be the right thing to do in my opinion." Casey answers.

"I see your point. Mr. Langen as you said earlier, your client has a right for a speedy trial and you have the right to put Detective Benson on the stand. However, Ms. Novak here has made her point. Detective Benson is physically not able to make it on the stand in a speedy trial. Therefore, I agree with Ms. Novak here and you have to choose for either a speedy trial or Detective Benson testifying. What will it be, Mr Langen?" Petrovsky asks.

"Your Honor, my client has the right on a fair trial. That includes a speedy trial and Detective Benson testifying." Trevor says.

"Safe it Mr. Langen. What do you want to do? Put Detective Benson on the stand while she is unconscious? I don't think so. Choose, Mr. Langen. You can't have both. And if you want to request an other Judge, forget it. That's not gonna happen under the given circumstances. I will ask you again. What's it gonna be, a speedy trial or Detective Benson testifying?" Petrovsky asks sternly.

"For the record, I object against the choice your Honor giving me." Trevor says.

"Duly noted. Come on Mr. Langen I don't have all day waiting for your decision." Petrovsky says.

"In my client's best interest I choose for Detective Benson testifying in court, your Honor." Trevor says.

"Very well, Detective Benson testifying it will be. Motion for speedy trial is hereby denied. Ms. Novak you have until tomorrow 4 pm to find out when Detective Benson should make it on the stand the soonest. I will pick a date to start the trial after that." Petrovsky says.

"Yes your Honor." Casey answers.

"Alright, Mr. Langen you are dismissed. Ms. Novak, I would like a word with you in private." Petrovsky says.

Trevor shoots a glare at Casey but doesn't say anything to the redhead ADA.

"Yes your Honor." Trevor says as he stands up and picks up his briefcase and leaves Petrovsky's room.

"Alright now that Mr. Langen is gone, tell me how Detective Benson is doing, what are her injuries. Off the record of course. It's just you and me now, Casey." Petrovsky says.

"Yes Ma'am. To be honest, Olivia is lucky to she's still alive. The Prof. that's treating her has never seen this before, seeing someone survive two life threatening surgeries and a cardiac arrest on the table with her kind of trauma's. She's doing well considering the circumstances. As for her injuries, she has broken more bones than I can count on both of my hands. If you ask me she'll be lucky if she can ever walk again normally." Casey says.

"That bad?! Which bones does she have broken? Does she have other injuries as well?" Petrovsky asks shocked.

"She has broken her cheekbones, her left shoulder, her left underarm at three places, her left wrist, 6 ribs, her left ankle, her left knee, her left thigh, her sternum, her left clavicle and her pelvis is broken badly. Her right ankle is strained badly. She had a cut that needed 20 stitches and cuts and bruises all over her body. She had an internal bleeding at her spleen so that's smaller now and her she has severe trauma at her uterus. They gonna remove it today or tomorrow with the first surgery. She had 2 cardiac arrests one before the second surgery and one on the table. She's lucky that she didn't break her spine. Although with everything else that's broken I'm not sure if it had made a difference, besides being paralyzed of course." Casey answers.

Lena Petrovsky was completely shocked at hearing the precise injuries of Olivia.

"It's a miracle that she survived. I will deny it if ever asked but if the jury doesn't find him guilty I'm gonna quit." Petrovsky says.

Casey is shocked by the words of Petrovsky. The judge has never said anything like this she always was tough but fair. Hearing this Casey couldn't believe her own ears. Internally she was also happy that Petrovsky cared so much about Olivia's well being.

"If asked I will deny you ever said it Ma'am. But I have to say I'm glad you care so much for Olivia's well being. Of course if ever asked I will deny saying that too. Now if you will excuse me Ma'am, I need to go back to the hospital." Casey answers.

"Yes of course, and don't worry Casey, this conversation never took place as far as I concern." Petrovsky says.

"What conversation? I don't know what you're talking about." Casey smiles.

"Olivia is lucky with you prosecuting this case." Petrovsky smiles.

"No Prentiss and Trevor are lucky that Alex isn't trying this case. She would wipe the floor with them." Casey answers.

"Don't sell yourself short Casey. I'm sure you do the same. But you do have a point, Alexandra would have done that. Why doesn't she try this case? Nothing against you, Casey." Petrovsky asks.

"Conflict of interest. Alex was there the second time Olivia was attacked." Casey answers.

Of course legally that is the truth but Casey doesn't tell Petrovsky that she won't try it because of Olivia. She would never betray their trust.

"Of course. Now go back to the hospital and I hear from you before 4 pm tomorrow afternoon." Petrovsky says not believing one word of what Casey just said.

Petrovsky knows that's not the reason but she also knows that Casey would never betray Alex or Olivia.

"Yes Ma'am." Casey answers and stands up and leaves the room.

Casey smiles to herself a bit. They didn't win the war yet but the first battle was done.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N My apologies for the shortness of this chapter. But with the need to study and my muse driving me crazing and bugging me, I have limited time to write. And she insists to write more for my other stories at the moment. I hope she will change her mind soon so that when I finished my first exam in 18 years, I have more time to write for this story again. Again I'm truly sorry. Y'all are great readers and I enjoy writing this story. Especially with all the great reviews I get from y'all. And with how many people read this story, follow it and fav it. I thank y'all with my whole heart for that. Now enough cheesy talk and let's get back to the story... **

Chapter 14

When Casey came back in the hospital she first goes looking for Nathalie. She was just back in time to catch Nathalie. The Prof. was about to leave the hospital.

"Counselor, you're lucky to catch me I'm about to leave for today. Prof. Meander, the Prof coming from California, is getting delayed and will arrive here late this evening. So we decided to reschedule today's surgery to first thing tomorrow morning. I have a colleague covering for me the last couple of hours of my shift in order to be able to be there tomorrow early in the morning. Now what can I do for you?" Nathalie asks.

"I was in the courthouse today for the trial. The judge wants to know when Liv will be able to testify in court or testify at all. So do you have any idea? She gave me till tomorrow 4 pm to find it out." Casey asks.

"Detective Benson won't be ready to testify in court for at least two months, physically. If they would let her testify her in the hospital the soonest will be about a month but that's if everything goes as it should be. Forget about a speedy trial. There's no way she will make it." Nathalie answers.

"We don't have to worry about that. I convinced the Judge and she threw the motion out for a speedy trial. She made the defense attorney choose between a speedy trial or Liv testifying. He chose Liv testifying." Casey says.

"Well that's good news. Like I said the soonest Detective Benson will be able to testify at all will be in a month if everything goes like it should. If they want it to be in court we're looking at two months at least. That's all I can give you now." Nathalie says.

"Alright. Thank you. I won't mention the first option if she doesn't ask for it. So let's see if we can get the trial started in two months. The more time we can buy to get Liv ready mentally the better it is. That's what I'm more worried about than her physical state." Casey says.

"I can see your point in that. Now if that's all, I'm going home now. I'll be back tomorrow early in the morning. I already went to Alex and Detective Benson to let them know the surgery is rescheduled till tomorrow." Nathalie says.

"Nope. That's all. Thank you for your time. And I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Goodbye Prof." Casey answers.

"Call me Nathalie, Counselor. And see you tomorrow." Nathalie says.

"Nathalie it is. Call me Casey. We're not in court here." Casey says.

Nathalie nods and both women go their ways. Nathalie's going home and Casey is going to Alex and Olivia. But first she calls Petrovsky. It was a short call. Casey told her what Nathalie had said about Olivia being able to testify in court and Petrovsky told Casey that the trial starts 10 weeks from today. After she finished the call Casey goes to Olivia's room. She knocks on the door and waits till Alex calls her inside. Casey walks inside and closes the door behind her. When Casey turns around she sees that Olivia is awake.

"How did it go?" Olivia asks.

Alex had informed her about what Casey would do that day.

"It could have been a lot worse actually. Petrovsky kicked Langen's ass. He wanted a speedy trial and you on the stand. After I convinced Petrovsky, she made him choose between a speedy trial and you testifying. He chose for you testifying. I talked with Nathalie before I came here and called Petrovsky. Petrovsky gave me to tomorrow 4 pm to find out when you would be able to testify at all. I managed to get you to testify in court and not sooner here in the hospital. Trial starts in 10 weeks from today." Casey answers.

"Wow that's good news. Thanks Case. You've done a great job. I just hope I'll be well enough to testify by then. Physically I mean. I hate it if I won't be able to walk into the courtroom. I don't care that you two always says that it looks better for the jury if the victim will be brought into the courtroom in a damn wheelchair." Olivia says.

Alex and Casey laugh about the Detective's stubbornness, leave it to Olivia to want walking into the courtroom no matter how difficult it may be.

"Olivia Benson, you have your first surgery tomorrow, don't worry about what may happen in 10 weeks from now." Alex says.

"You don't have to remind me of that. I'm not dumb or stupid. I may have had some blows to my head but there's nothing wrong with my mind, Counselor. You know I hate hospitals and I probably won't leave this damn hospital for weeks." Olivia pouts.

Alex sighs and shakes her head. It's gonna be a long month at least. The blonde ADA knows that Olivia won't leave her bed for at least the first 3 till 4 weeks. She doesn't even try to tell the Detective that now. Knowing it won't do any good at all.

"Well think about it this way, at least you will be using your sick days now. One PP will be pleased with that. Not that it helps that much. You probably have saved them up till the day you retire." Casey says, trying to change Olivia's mood.

Olivia thinks for a few moments before she replies.

"Well not till the day I retire but I don't have to worry about not having enough. I think I have taken 3 or 4 sick days in my entire career." Olivia says with a smile.

"That's what I was saying. You have enough sick days till your retirement." Casey says.

**One week later**

Olivia had her first surgery 6 days ago. Prof. Meander had reconstructed Olivia's pelvis and the Detective has a plate with screws holding her pelvis together. She also had pieces of bone transplanted into her pelvis from her right leg. Nathalie had removed the Detective's uterus in the same surgery. Today Olivia's second surgery is planned. Prof. Meander is going to reconstruct the Detective's shoulder and set the fractures in her arm. The surgery is planned right after lunch. Nathalie came to see Olivia at 8 am and the Detective managed to withdraw the million dollar question so far. The question how long she needs to stay in bed. Casey was visiting Olivia when Nathalie came into the room and as soon as Olivia drops the question Alex and Casey look at each other. Both ADA's know that a bomb is going to explode within seconds after Nathalie answers the question. Nathalie sees the look both attorney's share and hesitates to answer the question a little too long for Olivia.

"I asked you a question Nathalie. How long do I have to stay in this damn bed?" Olivia asks irritated.

"You have to stay in bed at least 4 weeks..." Nathalie starts to answer.

"FOUR WEEKS! I HAVE TO STAY IN THIS DAMN BED AND DO NOTHING FOR FOUR WEEKS? ARE YOU NUT?!" Olivia screams.

"Yes at least. Your pelvis needs to heal and it only will heal with bed rest before we can get you out of bed for therapy. And there's also the fractures in your knee..." Nathalie says and gets interrupted again.

"LIKE HELL I STAY IN BED FOR 4 WEEKS! I'M NOT AN INVALID. I ONLY BROKE A COUPLE OF BONES!" Olivia screams.

"Detective, your injures are a lot worse than just a couple of broken bones..." Nathalie tries again.

"Don't you Detective me. Don't you dare! I'm telling you right now. I won't stay in bed for four weeks, you moron." Olivia growls.

Alex sees this is going nowhere and decides to interfere.

"Detective, that's enough! Nathalie is only here to help you get better. She's not the reason you are in this bed. And if she says that you are staying in this bed for four weeks you are staying in this bed for four weeks! You stay in this bed as long as she tells you to stay! Do I make myself clear?!" Alex says with her courtroom voice.

"Screw you, Counselor. You're not the one lying in this bed, I am. And since I'm not mentally incapable of making my own decisions you have nothing to say about it." Olivia spats.

"Nathalie can you come back later to explain things? Detective Benson, Casey and I need to have a word and it's not going to be pleasant." Alex asks.

"Sure. Let me know when you are ready and I'll come back." Nathalie answers.

"Thank you. Sorry for the rudeness of my girlfriend here, lying in a hospital bed makes her forget her manors." Alex says.

"It's alright. No need to apologize. It's not the first time someone reacts like this and it won't be the last time either." Nathalie says.

"Thank you for understanding this but it's not alright. Olivia doesn't need to take her anger out on you. Now if you will excuse us. We need to talk and Liv has a surgery early this afternoon." Alex politely says.

Nathalie nods and walks out the room she has a feeling that 'the word' Alex is talking about is more than just a friendly conversation. And knowing the Detective and the blonde ADA it would probably end up in a huge fight. Nothing she wants to witness. As soon as Nathalie leaves the room Alex turns to Olivia and gives her one of her infamous glares.

"Now you listen to me Detective and you listen good." Alex says sternly.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N This is a really short chapter for me but I promise the next one will be longer than this.**

**Will Olivia listen to what Alex is gonna say? And if she doesn't, what will happen than? The only way to find that out is to read this chapter...**

Chapter 15

"_Now you listen to me Detective and you listen good." Alex says sternly._

As soon as Alex has spoken the words Olivia sets her jaw. Anger is radiating of the Detective. Alex and Casey both see the change in Olivia and they know that she's gonna fight or fly. Both attorney's hope that she's gonna fight. Fighting Olivia is easier to deal with.

"No. You two are gonna listen to me." Olivia says, looking at both Alex and Casey.

"You are not the ones lying in this bed. You are not the ones who is been brutally attacked, tortured and raped. You are not the ones being stuck to this bed for the past weeks. Nor are you the ones that has to stay in this bed. So you can't tell me what to do or how I should act, whether it's nice and polite or as Alex said losing my manors." Olivia says sternly.

Alex and Casey share a knowing look. They aren't lucky because Olivia is gonna fly. The question is how fast and for how long.

"You're right, we're not. But do you think that yelling at Nathalie is gonna help you?" Casey asks.

"Maybe, maybe not but either way it's not your call to make neither is it Alex's." Olivia answers.

"Liv, the only reason why I said it is because you need to stay calm for your own well being. It won't do you any good if you get angry and push yourself over your limits. I know how much you hate hospitals and needing to stay in them but it's not like you have a choice this time. But fighting against it won't get you out of here sooner. You're having a surgery this afternoon and you probably will be in more pain than you already are. So maybe it'll help if you can stay calm and not tensing your muscles more." Alex says.

"Oh and keeping it inside will help? Both of you always say that I need to open up sometimes, let it out. That everyone needs it once in a while. And now I need to shut up and hold back. It's either one of them, so make up your mind. Let me make it easier, either shut up or go. That goes for the both of you, just to be clear. I don't want to have this conversation now or in the next couple of days at least." Olivia says.

"Neither of us is saying that you need to shut up and hold back, do nothing with it. All we say is that maybe it's better to do it differently." Casey says.

"Like I have that many options to choose from. Let's see what I can do. I can go running, wait I can't because I have too many bones broke to count. I can go punch against a punch bag, oh I can't because I can't get out my bed let alone walk or punch. The only freaking way I can do it right now is with my mouth. So excuse me for being rude and yell at people, I'll try to find another way to spare people." Olivia says sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. I don't think that Casey meant it neither. Let's try to talk about this without arguing. Alright?" Alex asks.

"I told you I don't want this conversation now or in the next couple of days. So let it rest." Olivia says.

"I heard you but I think that we should talk about it and see if we can do something. We need to talk about this Liv, sooner rather than later." Alex answers.

"And I say drop it. Twice so far. But you don't listen." Olivia says irritated.

"I agree with Alex. The sooner we do this the better." Casey says.

"That's it. I'm done. I can't make you to drop it but I can make you leave." Olivia says angry.

"That's only pushing it forwards. But alright we can go for now and talk about it when we come back. Leave you alone for a while if that's what you want." Casey says.

"I always have done it by myself, I can do it this time too. And we won't talk about later because you're not coming back. Now get out!" Olivia says determined.

"Fine you want us to leave, we'll go. I'll be back before they come to get you to the surgery." Alex says.

Alex and Casey stand up and walk to the door. Thinking that it's the best they can do for now. That Olivia just need some space and that once she calmed down or in a day or two can talk about it. They never saw it coming what comes next out of the Detectives mouth when Casey opens the door.

"No you won't neither of you. Leave me alone and get out, before I call the nurse!" Olivia growls.

Both women are shocked and cannot believe their ears. Alex doesn't know if she should burst out in tears or get pissed off because Olivia is pushing them away. They both turn around wanting to say something but the glare they are getting makes them keeping their mouth shot. Hoping that the Detective said it in the heat of the moment. That she couldn't take it anymore after everything that happened.

"I love you Liv." Alex says before she leaves the room behind Casey.

But Olivia wasn't saying it in the heat of the moment like they thought she did. Olivia denied everyone that wanted to visit her. She had told the medical staff that she didn't want anyone to visit her. To keep them away from her room. Prof. Meander did the surgery that afternoon but Olivia had asked Nathalie the next day to do the rest of the surgeries. She couldn't afford Prof. Meander and she didn't want Alex to pay for it. If Nathalie couldn't do it she asked to get someone within the hospital that could do it and the insurance company would cover. The Detective hardly talked with anyone and only about the necessary things. Nathalie thought that Olivia could be depressed, which would be completely understandable, but the Detective assured her that she wasn't depressed. She gets nightmares and they have trouble to get her out of them. But Olivia keeps refusing seeing anyone beside the medical staff. They think it's a coping mechanism for the Detective to deal with everything that happened with her and decide to let it go for the moment and keeping an eye on Olivia.

**A/N 2 Don't get mad! The next chapter will explain it all. Why Olivia did what she did. How it Alex deals with this and how she and Casey will react.**

**For the record, it's my muse who wanted to end the chapter at this point not me. **


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